The Academy of S.I.D.E.

No. 24: The Holiday Buzz

Seeing as the Academy was in Canada and a good deal of the student body wasn't from the U.S, they, like all the advertising companies out there, jumped right into Christmas during the first week of November, though it didn't really hit until week two. And unfortunately for Virgil, his roommate apparently took celebrations very seriously.

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly / Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Roman sang cheerfully, hanging up tinsel around the walls of their room. "Tis the season to be jolly / Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! / Don we now our gay apparel / Fa-la-la-la-la-la---"

"Keep that silver monstrosity away from my side," Virgil grumbled, covering his head with a pillow. "You're all of the worst parts of Christmas wrapped into one---except for my birthday being a few days before it, so I get cheated out of at least one present."

"Oh, chin up, Dr. Gloom! The holiday season brings out the best of us all, and I'm certain that you're no exception! After all, it's the most wonderful time of the year..."

"That's Halloween."

Roman let out a dramatic sigh. "Look, you may not like the holiday season, but it's your sweet sixteen soon, so you should at least be a little bit excited."

Virgil flopped over. "Birthdays are just a way to mark how close we are to climbing into a coffin and becoming worm food for eternity."

"You're not supposed to have that attitude until you're in your late thirties. Now get up."

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's the weekend and it's not noon."

"I'm going to drag you out of bed."

"I dare you."

"Very well." Roman yanked the covers off of Virgil and pulled him into a sitting position.

"DUDE!" Virgil complained as Roman hauled him to his feet and started pushing him to the bathroom. "I was still sleeping!"

"If you have enough energy to insult me, you've got enough energy to get yourself moving," Roman told him. "Now go brush your teeth, wash your face, get dressed, and reapply that emo makeup! The winter bake sale starts soon, and we simply must get there before the rush!"

Virgil turned back around. "Wait, there's a bake sale?"

"Yeah, it's yearly."

"Well, why didn't you mention that in the first place? I would've gotten up sooner!"

Roman shrugged. "I was busy decorating."

"You're an asshole," Virgil informed him, then slammed the bathroom door in his face.

.........

"The holiday season was always my favorite as a child," Janus remarked, sipping his cup of hot cocoa. "I mean, I never liked the family gatherings, and I've never been a fan of cold weather, but seeing the look on the Christian kids's faces when you tell them that Santa isn't real is a memory I will always hold dear to my heart."

"I never really believed in him anyway," Virgil said, shrugging. "I mean, there's no way a guy that fat could fit down a chimney, and seeing as there's millions of people on the planet, there's no way that he could visit every kid, either. Plus, I know my mom's handwriting when I see it."

Janus blew him a raspberry. "You ruin the fun for kids who don't celebrate Christmas."

"Oh, I would've joined in, trust me. The sooner those little assholes wake up to reality, the better."