The Academy of S.I.D.E.

No. 38: Impossible Surprise

Virgil threw open the door to his dorm. "Roman, congratulations," he announced. "You're officially dating the most stressed guy on the planet."

Roman looked up from his phone. "What's up?"

"So, apparently, Janus is turning sixteen on the third," Virgil said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "And Patton and Remus put their one braincell together and decided it would be a good idea to plan a surprise party for him."

"I don't see what's so stressful about that," Roman said, shrugging. "I mean, sure, you'll probably need to do a lot of decorating, but---"

"The guy can detect lies, Princey."

Roman blinked. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Virgil flopped into one of the chairs. "I don't get it. I mean, those two know him better than any of us! They'd know that this is literally impossible!"

"Why'd they even decide on it this year, anyway?" Roman asked. "In my experience, they're both happy with giving him some presents and a hug." He snorted. "In all honesty, I kind of thought that Remus and him would just screw this year."

Virgil lifted his head. "Is that really any different than what they usually do?"

"Fair point."

He sighed. "They thought since I'm here, and you and Janus are getting along better now, they could do something a little bigger."

Roman shrugged. "Hey, this is Janus we're talking about. He'd love the extravagance."

"Oh, he'd go fucking nuts over it. There's no question about that---but why the fuck does it have to be a goddamn surprise party?!" Virgil buried his head in his hands. "If it weren't for Logan and the birthday boy, I'd say that I'm the only person in our group with more than one functioning braincell."

"I think it's just you and Logan."

"No, you gotta have more than one braincell to come up with Janus's schemes."

Roman tossed his phone on the table and stood up. "Well, I can scheme just as well as he can, and I say that all is not lost! It will take some trial and error, but the Bananaconda will have a surprise party, and I will do everything in my power to help you, Patton, and Remus achieve it!"

Virgil raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Wow, Princey, you've really changed your tune in the last few months. Feels like only a few weeks ago that you and Janus were fighting tooth and nail every time you were within five feet of each other."

"Well, I have you to thank for that." Roman kissed him on the forehead. "Now, let's go check in with the smartest person in the group by a mile. He'll know exactly what to do."

...........

"If you really wanted my help, you wouldn't have interrupted me during my reading," Logan said, his eyes still trained on the slim blue Kindle in his hands. "By doing that, you've pretty much guaranteed that I'll be nothing more than a guest at the party and will not assist you."

"We didn't know you were reading, give us some slack," Virgil told him. "Quinn just said that you were in the lab, so we came here to talk to you."

Logan gave him a look over his glasses. "If somebody tells you that I'm in the robotics lab, assume that I am busy and bother me later."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "What are you even reading, anyway? One of those boring science books?"

"An Abundance Of Katherines. John Green."

He blinked. "That's... uh... not what I was expecting."