katy | l.h

seventeen

month 7

i remember the way he looked at me,

after we had our first kiss,

i remember the way he looked at me,

when i told him a secret for the first time,

i remember the way he looked at me,

when he complimented me all those times,

i remember the way he looked at me,

when he held me in his arms,

i remember the way he looked at me,

when he sung quietly as he strummed his guitar,

i remember the way he looked at me,

when he told me he loved me for the first time,

i remember every single glance, smile, laugh and moment we ever shared

as if it was tattooed in my mind and heart.

but i also remember the last time he looked at me,

with sadness in his eyes,

and the emptiness that surrounded us,

as we said goodbye for the last time.

***

month 8

Since moving to London, I have found the perfect coffee shop - almost as good as Leah's - and the owner already calls me his regular, and knows my usual, just like Leah used to. The owner's name is Sam, he's a cool guy and is very friendly, but certainly has nothing on Leah. I grab some coffee every morning, and I spend my breaks there, too.

I have also finally had my first experience on the London Eye. It was incredible, I took so many photos as the views were incredible. I could see the whole of London, which really opened my eyes to the fact that I've been missing out on so much while living in Sydney and having not traveled anywhere.

My thoughts were interrupted by a woman shoving me out of her way.

"Hey, watch it!" I called back at her as she glared at me, walking away in the process. I scoffed as I continued to walked through the shopping centre. I decided to treat myself to some new clothes today, seeing as I have been earning a good wage and been working non-stop.

I made my way in River Island, looking around eagerly and soon picking up a pair of skinny jeans and a cute top, along with a pair of low heeled boots. I also picked out a white skater dress which also had a black and gold belt. I shrugged as I looked at it before making my way to the changing rooms.

—-

"That'll be eighty-five pounds and ninety nine pence, please" the woman behind the counter said. I inserted my card before paying.

The woman handed me the bag and smiled at me politely as I thanked her. I turned around and made my way out of the shop. Although I soon came to a stop when a large group of girls came running towards me, screaming some very familiar names.

"Michael!"

"Oh my God, Luke, wait!"

"Luke please!"

"Ashton, hey, please could I have a photo?"

"Calum!"

They were all screaming their names, trying to get their attention. For a moment, I was so sure that I was dreaming. They couldn't be here. No way.

I looked to my left, and surely enough, there was a large poster, which said

'5SOS FIRST LONDON HEADLINE SHOW

WEMBLEY ARENA

AUGUST 9TH'

also, with the words 'SOLD OUT' written across it. I started to panic, I couldn't let them see me, I should leave and just —

"Luke is that your new girlfriend with you? Are you two together?" One of the fans shouted and they all continued to talk loudly. My chest felt extremely heavy, and I struggled to breathe. My vision was blurry as I tried hard to stop the tears from falling.

Luke has a new girlfriend. I thought to myself, before leaving quickly. I just wanted to get as far away from them as possible.

Many people stared at me as I ran through the shopping centre towards the toilets. I needed to get out of sight.

Once I finally found the toilets, I quickly ran in and locked myself in one of the cubicles, before sliding to the floor, letting the tears fall freely as I sobbed hysterically, clutching my chest.

The hardest thing is, the last time this happened, Luke was there to comfort me. But now I have no one to hold me, no one to tell me that it'll all be ok soon.