french girl • j.jk

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january 3rd

fuck mr. johnson for making you feel so guilty just by his mere presence. you're with the man who framed his daughter and you can't even confidently say jungkook's innocent. you didn't know anything, but you felt you knew enough.

knowing had gotten torturous.

you started to talk to namjoon a lot more, perhaps from missing him over the break or simply desiring human interaction outside of your boyfriend.

after a day of chitchatting here and there during lectures, you had finally gotten around to texting namjoon. if jungkook had noticed, you didn't care. you were bored and apparently you had proven your love for him back in the barn already, so no one could stop you.

ayenski:
idc abt ur iq
i want hot chocolate
but im so lazy
help

nerdjoon:
um
theres a cafe close to campus
we can go if u want

17:56

you considered leaving jungkook be while he modified his song. with every listen, the song sounded better than last time and it was fascinating to see him add different elements to it. you began to like it a lot the more it felt okay.

"i'm going out," you mumbled. you were certain he didn't catch what you said since he was wearing headphones until you reached the door.

"where you headed?"

"meeting up with namjoon at the café nearby," he'd gotten more caring and less protective, which was a plus. he wasn't overbearing like he used to be. "you can come if you want."

he shook his head without turning to look at you before yelling with a dismissive wave, "have fun!"

you were kind of surprised but couldn't help the small smile stretching across your face.

cute.

you asked namjoon to wait for you by the exit so the both of you could walk there. you were never one to explore on your own; you always preferred following your friends to wherever they wanted to go.

this was another example of that.

"hey there," you greeted namjoon the moment he came into view. you were just behind the doors to avoid the cold for as long as you could. "you look like a fucking ball."

he started laughing full-heartedly while walking towards you. he was wearing so many layers of clothing that his coat was shaped like a circle with some other sweaters sticking out from underneath. you couldn't help but wonder how he managed to pull the zipper all the way up.

"it's gonna snow today! i'm not risking a cold."

you scoffed playfully while he struggled to cross the road. the coats were limiting his movement and sight so you decided to hold onto him and lead the way. he was more than grateful for your help and he cussed at his heart for fluttering. the 'bro code', namjoon, remember. it was unhealthy to be so flustered just by you touching his coat which he technically couldn't even feel.

two hot chocolates on the coffee table with one sided attraction. while you were gazing outside, namjoon innocently stared at you. it was a twisted sort of deja vu; had it felt the same with jungkook when he was sat on your seat? you took a sip as he struck up a conversation.

"how's life, ayen?"

with your mind clouded by the scent of caffeine, you didn't put much thought to your answer. "same old. you?"

"same old," he joined you in your street gazing. "how're things with jungkook?"

you tensed. different, you wanted to say. i'm stuck. you held up your left hand to show him your promise ring as a response.

he gasped dramatically and before he could ask if you'd gotten engaged, you quickly clarified, "it's a promise ring. i shouldn't have worn it on my ring finger." you laughed dryly before putting the band on your middle finger. i'm so stupid.

the cracks in namjoon's heart filled in quickly as he sighed in relief. he knew he shouldn't be so upset over the idea of you getting married to jungkook since he was simply infatuated, but he wasn't prepared for the heartbreak. he's not supposed to have his heart broken so early on in his liking towards you. he should be happy for his friend rather than envious.

"i was worried for a second," he chuckled. "jungkook's not one to rush things."

you snorted. now i don't know about that. "it's not a good time to think about marriage right now."

he sighed, "i mean yeah, being so young and all. he just became legal in his hometown for god's sake!"

a smile of a ghost hovered on your lips. "you're funny namjoon. i like you, you make me feel sane."

you didn't miss the faintest blush appearing on his cheeks. or maybe it was already rosy from the cold, who knew. he loudly cleared his throat to get a grip. "is that why you like jungkookie?"

you scoffed and shook your head. "he's the opposite of you."

he tilted his head in curiosity like a puppy with his eyes that were full of wonder set on you. "elaborate?"

"i feel like my brain and heart are collapsing," wait, metastasis? "an emotional rollercoaster..." you trailed off as you suddenly had an epiphany.

it was jungkook's tumour. how stupid are you to not have taken his text as a warning? you walked right into his arms, knowing fully well you were going to die; die just like the other woman he had killed. you said you would still love him even if you'd known about it.

you were still with him.

who else had he killed?

namjoon snapped his fingers after waving in your face for a whole minute. you had zoned out and jolting back to reality felt like your soul had left your body for a second.

"fuck," you involuntarily gasped. you quickly stood up and put on your coat. it was snowing outside, a beautiful sight to see; yet you were blinded by your thoughts as you rushed out of the café.

the confused man was left to stare at your half-empty hot chocolate. he ditched his mug before sipping from yours; the only way he'd get a taste of your lips.