"Stop trying to fix me Nate I don't want to be fixed"
"Well I'm sorry but I'm not just going to sit back and watch you destroy yourself I'm not going to let it happen Riley I care about you I always have and I always will"
A story in which Nate Jaco...
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WARNING - (mention of self harm)
It was the day after the party and Riley was back at home she had spent all day in her room she was in a depressive state due to the come down from the drugs she had took.
She felt empty all she ever wanted was to be happy the only time she did feel happiness was when she was with Nate she had never experienced a feeling like it he was her safe haven he took all her pain away but she never expected that he would cause it also.
She wanted to hate him she did but she just couldn't deep down all she wanted was for him to want her but he didn't she had come to the conclusion that she just wasn't good enough
In that moment Riley wanted to punish herself she knew she would never be worthy of being loved she just wanted to drown it all out but not with drugs not with sex with hurting herself
Riley got up from her bed and walked towards her draw she pulled out a blade she instantly pressed it against her thigh and dragged it down causing it to cut her skin blood immediately started to appear
Riley watched as the blood oozed out of her skin she didn't feel anything but numbness it was all just a release
she walked back over to her bed and laid down
Meanwhile Nate was kicking himself he felt this intense feeling of guilt and he just couldn't seem to shake it if it was anyone else he would of forgotten about it by now but it wasn't just anyone it was Riley his Riley
Nate ran upstairs to check on her he knew she would probably tell him to fuck of but he figured it was worth a try
Nate walked into Riley's room he shut the door behind him
He saw Riley laying there on the bed he could tell something just wasn't right he could see blood trailing down her leg his heart sunk
Nate immediately went over and sat on her bed he looked at her with concern
"Riley what have you done" he questioned with sadness in his voice
She didn't even respond or look at him she just laid there
"Riley this is all my fault if I hadn't of hurt you the way I did this never would of ha-
"It's not your fault Nate" Riley spoke up
Nate looked at her confused
"Yes it is Riley" Nate stated
Riley sat up and looked at Nate she placed his hand on his
"No it's not you yes you hurt me and I should hate you but I don't and I don't think I ever could" Riley said truthfully
Nate looked at her sympathetically
"Riley I don't deserve this what I did to you was horrible I should of never hurt you like that I wasn't thinking straight" Nate admitted
"Nate listen you might not be perfect but you don't need to be you've made mistakes but we all do your not a bad person" Riley reassured him
"I am Riley I hurt maddy I hurt you I'm the reason you've done this to yourself"
Riley squeezed his hand
"No your not Nate I did this because I don't deserve happiness and that's just how it's supposed to be don't you understand I'm the problem I always have been and I always will be people like me don't deserve to be loved"
Hearing Riley say that broke Nate he knew she deserved nothing but the best and although he might not be the best thing for her one thing he did know was that now more than ever Riley needed him and intern he had come to realise that he needed her Nate knew he had made a mistake choosing his toxic relationship with Maddy over Riley, he had started to regret it deeply.
"Yes you do Riley I fucked up but I've come to realise that I made the wrong decision your all I want Riley and all I ever will want it's not like this with anyone else you make me feel alive Ri"
Riley was shocked at Nates revelation for a second she thought it could be bullshit but it wasn't she knew he truly meant every word
"I love you Riley" Nate admitted
Riley was in complete shock she didn't know how to react her feelings for Nate were strong and she did love him too hearing that he feels the same way was like music to her ears but Riley just knew they weren't meant to be together
"Nate- Riley cut him of as she looked at him with sadness in her eyes
Nate looked at her confused
"You don't love me do you" Nate questioned sadly
"I do love you but this isn't going to happen we can't be together Nate" Riley said stated truthfully
Nate looked at Riley with a hurt look on his face
"Why the fuck not give me a reason" Nate demanded angrily
Riley could see the anger in Nates face she knew her confession wouldn't sit too well with him
"Nate just clam down" Riley said as she put her hand over his
Riley's touch immediately calmed Nate down he held onto her hand and squeezed it lightly
"I'm sorry I just want us to be together your all I need I don't care about anything else anymore" Nate said softly
Riley put her head down she knew Nate was going to hate her for what she was about to do but she knew it was for the best
"Nate I've never cared about anyone the way I care about you I would do anything for you and all I want is for us to be together to but I know that we're not meant to be Nate and as much as you want to deny it you know it's true yes we love each other but we would end up hurting each other I know it and you know it and I don't want to see you hurt and I know you wouldn't want to see me hurt either it's inevitable especially with someone like me I'm damaged goods Nate and I want more for you than that"
Riley could feel the tears falling down her cheeks
Nate looked at her with pain in his eyes he was devastated but Riley was right he knew they weren't meant to be together and it was killing him inside
"I know Ri I get it we aren't meant for each other but that doesn't mean I will stop loving you because I always will your not damaged goods your my Riley and I think your pretty fucking amazing and the guy you end up with is going to be extremely lucky to call you his" Nate said as he pulled Riley into his arms tears started to fill up in his eyes as he held onto her
In that moment Nate and Riley were heartbroken although they were still going to be in each other's life's it wasn't going to be the same they were loosing a part of one another
They unattached from each other Nate grabbed Riley's face lightly and pulled her towards him as he kissed her for the last time it felt bittersweet for them both
"Bye Ri" Nate said as he got up and walked towards the door
She didn't need to say anything she just gave him one smile and he knew that was her saying goodbye
They looked at each other sadly Nate ended the moment by waking out of Riley's room she watched him leave as she let more tears fall onto her cheeks
Riley didn't take her eyes of the door she looked at it with sadness a part of her wanted Nate to walk back in and hold her in his arms again expect this time she didn't want him to let her go but Riley was adamant that they had both done the right thing even though it was hurting her inside she knew sometimes nothing is better.
Hey guys I hope you liked this chapter it literally broke my heart to write this part let me know what you guys think In the comments also my Wattpad is being annyoing and I can't reply to comments at the minute I'll try and sort it out but I'm not ignoring anyone don't worry Thankyou for supporting my book guys I really appreciate it love you all so much!❤️
