Breaking The Chains (Kurapika x Reader)

The First Time We Met

Y/n POV

"She did it again," I mumbled bitterly. She was getting better, or so it seemed. I guess I was wrong. She hadn't changed at all. Although it had been a while since she'd purposefully attempted to get rid of me.

Its because she's sick. She isn't well. That's the only reason she's like this. It has to be. Ever since she adopted her drinking habit, she's been prone to sickness. I've been trying to afford her medicine, but my ability to make money is limited by my age. I talked to everyone I know and asked them for help. Not only that, but I tried to help my mom get a job. My attempts were futile because whenever she did manage to get hired, she would always get fired and use the little money she had to buy alcohol. I eventually gave up on trying to find a job for her. Instead, I looked for jobs or any ways I could make money. The problem with that is that no respectable business would hire someone like me. And the half of the jobs offered to me were offered by people I would rather not trust.

After the last time this had happened, I really thought she had given up on leaving me, but it seems that she decided that she wants nothing to do with me. Maybe she's right, she'a not easy to live with either. At least this time, she didn't try to trade me for a twenty-four pack of beer. I hate this so much. I don't understand why it has to be me. I'm not to blame. It wasn't my fault. Really, its not.

Sometimes I really do wish it had been me, though. Maybe then
my mom could have been happy. A guilty feeling is always gnawing at me, it makes me sick. I've known this disappointment, anger, sadness for years, yet somehow it still manages to catch me off guard sometimes.

It infuriates me that I'm the reason she's mostly alive, yet she still treats me like I'm less than worthless. I support her the way she should be supporting me. Whenever she's passed out drunk, I make sure she doesn't accidentally inhale her own vomit. When she gets sick, I always manage to buy her medicine. I find ways to have water and small amounts of food at our house. She could at least say thank you. Not that I'll ever hold my breath until that moment. Instead, what do I get, a useless woman. No only is she useless, she's rude and ungrateful. I owe her nothing!

"Oh," a sudden feeling of being stabbed by my own words makes me stop mid-sentence. "Well, I qas the one there. I guess it is my fault," saying it out loud mkaes me accept that it was my fault. She's only like this because of me. Its only fair that I make sacrifices, too.

She usually skips the welcome reception when I get home and moves straight into throwing empty alcohol bottles-or whatever is closest to her- at me. It's been one year, and she still has not changed. She hasn't moved on at all. I can't say I have either, but at least I stood up afterwards. She's still slumped over in the same place where she was the day it haopened.

My father left us when I was young. Something about another life and moving on. She never showed it to us, but it hurt my mom. My mother would constantly curse my father for being a "stupid bastard". Although I had never met the guy, judging from the fact that he skipped out on his family and my mother never mentioned anything god about him, I grew up agreeing with my mom's judgment if him. Still, no matter how much she cursed him she clearly missed him. She didn't act the way she had before, but she still loved us. It just seemed different than before. Maybe it was too much for her and she snapped. When my brother died last year, she locked herself away and I guess finding someone to blame helped her cope. Unfortunately I was trapped with the burden if bearing the blame. Not only for my brother's passing, but for my father's absence as well.

My brother had managed to buy the house in which we lived before he passed, so I always made a point to keep it in a decent condition. Which was difficult considering that the only person to trash the house was a drunkard who only thought of ways to torment her child. I eventually gave up hope that she would ever stop resenting me.