My Safe Place

12/12/20

I was playing 'Among Us' yesterday with my friend, will-treaty85 . He asked me a hard question. 

"If I had the choice, would I rather be a professional author or have a recording contract to sing?"

*Not His Exact Words*

If you've met me in person, you know that I love to sing. But I also really enjoy writing stories for others to read. So this is me explaining why I can't actually decide one or the other.

First, being an author. I had gotten bored at the beginning of quarantine and happened upon Wattpad fanfiction. I was only reading stories, so I hadn't created an account yet. But soon I wanted to turn my Max & Harvey dreams into stories of my own. When I first started writing fanfiction on paper, I thought it was the worst thing ever! It was so cringy and I didn't think anyone would every even want to read it. But regardless, I let a few people read it and they kept telling me that I needed to publish it somewhere. So since I was already reading on Wattpad, I created an account and started publishing the stories. I was really scared that no one was going to read it and that the people that did read it would criticize it. But what happened was exactly the opposite. People read and voted the stories. They commented a lot saying that they enjoyed it! I was so happy! And every single time I publish a new story, I get the same feeling when I get notifications about comments and votes. I feel special when someone follows me, or enjoys my story. Even though I continue to put myself down, saying that I'm a terrible author, I know that there are some people who do like the things that I put out into the world. I have a fanbase. A small, but still existing fanbase. I try to reply to every comment on my stories, and follow back anyone that follows me because I know that at any given time, someone could start to look up to me as a writer. Even if it isn't likely to happen, that is one of the things that keeps me going. There are days when I want to quit, but I don't. Plus, I've made sooooo many friends here, that I wouldn't have met if I never created an account.

Now, recording artist. I'm literally always singing. Not even joking. Ask any of my friends, they will tell you. People always tell me to stop, but no one can actually ever get me to shut up. I don't feel like my voice is as strong as I'd like it to be, and I'm terrible at vocal runs. But every time I sing in front of someone, they tell me I have a beautiful voice. I have a microphone that I can connect to my laptop, and an app called 'Audacity' that I use to record covers of my favorite songs. I also have written tons of songs. I think it was around 60 the last time I took the time to count! Writing songs is how I deal with feelings. Whether it's a crush, I'm mad at someone, or even nervous about a big day! Last year, around Christmas, there was a talent show in my town. I auditioned with an original song. There was a lot of drama concerning it, but I didn't win. However, at the end, one of the judges did say he wanted to see me again later on to work on some of my other songs. He wanted to help put music to them! I was ecstatic!!! Then on Christmas, my parents surprised me saying that we were going to get my song copyrighted to my name!! Even more excitement!! But, of course, Covid had to ruin my plans. None of this happened this year and I was upset. But we are working on doing everything after the virus has calmed down. Anyway, hearing someone say something positive about my singing gives me the same feeling that someone voting on my story does.

So to answer your question, will-treaty85, I pick both. Maybe not at the same time though. I consider writing stories to be my job at the moment, and singing to be my future career. Both of which I thoroughly enjoy! That is how I will leave this conversation.