My Safe Place

12/16/20

This weekend is Christmas 1 of 6 for me. I'm very lucky to have so many Christmas's. I have Christmas at my mom's, Christmas at my dad's, Christmas with mom's side of the family, Christmas with my dad's side of the family, Christmas with my bonus mom's side of the family, and Christmas with my bonus dad's side of the family. I just said Christmas too many times!😅

Anyway, I'm so excited! I want the food, and the family, but one of my favorite parts is having a dance party with my younger cousin to JoJo Siwa songs! There's a chapter on that somewhere previous in this book.

But I have a different topic to talk about. I've been homeschooled for a few years now, and I've changed so much since then! If I were still in public school, I never would have started writing stories, therefore I never would have met some incredible people! When I was in public school, I hated having my hair up, now my hair is always in a messy bun. I used to hate sweatpants, now I have too many. I used to only wear hoodies because I was insecure of my body, now I wear them because they're comfy. I used to only listen to Matthew West, TobyMac, and Taylor Swift  (not joking), now I listen to a variety of music. I never would have listened to French-Pop, never would have found Max & Harvey, never would have even heard of AJR, never would try to learn Sign Language, or anything like that.

I was seen as an innocent angel, who knew of nothing dirty. Granted, I didn't know a lot (because my parents didn't teach me stuff like that), I still knew what "it" was (I hope you understand that). Everyone thought I would never swear. I did, just not around anyone. I'm still careful who I'm around though, because some people don't like it. They thought I only listened to "Church Music", which was mostly true, but I also used to listen to a lot of Country music when I was younger, because that's what I was raised on. I don't really like old country anymore. I listen to bands like 'Reckless Kelly' and 'Dixie Chicks' but other than that, I like Modern Country, Pop-Country, Pop, Rap, Indie-Pop, and French-Pop. I still listen to Gospel songs, just not as much. And I only really listen to Matthew West. My clothing style has also changed quite a bit since being out of school. I used to wear skinny jeans, converse, and a tighter fitting hoodie everyday. But now I where leggings, sweatpants, short shorts (not booty-shorts), MAH merch, scrunchies in my hair, super baggy hoodies, crop tops, sometimes just a sports bra, shirts over hoodies, and maybe you'll see me in a dress once in a while, but it's usually a comfy one!

I was listening to Post Malone today while I was painting, and I was thinking of how when I was still in public school, everyone thought I would never listen to something that swore that much. But they all remember a version on me that no longer exists. I've changed so much since then, and no one there (other than the few people I still talk to) will ever know that. I am glad I've changed though. Some changes are good. Like, when I was in 5th grade, I was way too boy crazy! I was reading through my old journals from back then, and couldn't even read most of the writing. What I could read was always "I Love ______" I ended up trashing it because it was so sickening. I was so stupid! And now I absolutely hate that person because after I no longer liked him, I had a drwam where he kissed me. So I avoid him at all costs so that never happens! 😂😂. I'm so glad I've grown up! Maybe I'm still childish, but not like that. I still mess around, but it's only playful. Not like I used to be.

So some change is good. And I will always be grateful to have left public school. I have a writing "career" now, I'm an unproductive fangirl😄, have so many new friends from different parts of the world, and I get to study Psychology in my online classes. None of these things would have happened if I hadn't left public school. And I'm eternally grateful!!!