Fairytale Gone Bad √

Chapter 22

BETH'S POV

I didn't cry.

That was the only thing on my mind as I drove away with Max. Not even saying goodbye to him. Niall, Zayn, Louis and Liam had come to see me before I left them, as well as Lou and Paul and some of the other staff members. But not Harry.

I was kind of expecting that. He must've hated me after what I'd done. I couldn't really blame him for not wanting to see me again. But the others surprised me; they were angry, of course, but they'd told me they understood my reasons. They couldn't just forgive and forget, not yet, but at least they were still here, talking and trying to fix our friendship, and that was more than I could've asked for. It showed me how much they trusted and cared about me even after what had happened.

It's been months. And God, I missed them.

I missed the little things: Zayn's accent, Louis' smile, Niall's jokes, Liam's late night movie choices. I missed waking up to their voices and laughs. I missed cooking breakfast for them and having them all singing Mmmbop at the top of their lungs and joking around, like the crazy and funny lads they were. I missed Niall's random selfies and pics. I missed the silly faces, the movie nights, the FIFA friendly competitions that always ended in incontrolable fits of laughter and tackles to the ground. I missed the way they always supported each other when they missed home and their families. I missed Zayn's messy hair he always hid in a beanie whenever he didn't have the patience to style it or even comb it. I missed the way they always treated each other's family as their own. I missed the brotherhood and late night conversations. I missed Louis' sass and the way Zayn always knew the right thing to say. I missed Niall's frustration whenever his favourite sports team lost. I missed Liam's silly dance moves and raps. 

And I missed him.

I missed the way his smile lit up his whole face. The way his eyes sparkled. The way he'd scrunch up his face, close his eyes and slap his knee or bend over whenever he laughed hard. His giggles. His silly shirts. His annoying - not really - habit of rolling up the sleeves of his t-shirts. The way he was so cute around Lux or any other kid, because that was just the way he was. His lame but cute jokes. The way he always danced like no one was watching. I missed his cute stubble and his silly headscarfs. He way he loved to sing. I missed his hugs. The way he gave everything he had and more in every song, every gig. I missed seeing him sleep. How he always wore his heart on his sleeve. The way he always treated people nicely and with respect, no matter who, when or where. I missed his eyes, his hands, his tattoos. His hugs, his small gestures that meant the world to me, like holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek, or even a smile. His morning voice. I missed seeing him with no makeup on, or his hair styled or with random clothes; I missed that he didn't care about the way he looked around me, which only meant he trusted me and he was confortable enough to not look perfect all the time. The way he put his cross pendant in his mouth, his eyes closed and his hands together in front of him, before every gig. I missed the way he could light up every room just by smiling or laughing. I missed our talks around this and that, about everything and nothing. I missed his voice and his smell of wood and cologne and sun and good things. I missed that he trusted me enough to sleep next to me, that I could see him in his most vulnerable state. I missed the way his hands fit perfectly with mine.

I missed him so much it hurt.

I wanted to give him space. I knew he needed time to forgive me. But it's been months. I'd been talking to the others, especially Zayn and Louis, so I knew he wasn't any better. Little part of me was happy that I wasn't the only one suffering, but the bigger part was scared and worried for him. I didn't know what to do. I needed to see him, talk to him, fix this whole mess. If I could only go and meet them, but I couldn't. I'd been saving money ever since I got my job in the music shop back, but that money was going to be used to take me and my sister to London. Permanently.