out of control | transformers [original]

i. prologue

EGGO has created a chat

EGGO has added MILK to the chat.

EGGO: weird fact- left isn't always right.

MILK: and the right is not always right.

EGGO: whilst forwards is not always four words.

MILK: and the back is not always in the right ward.

EGGO: and the north is confusing because the birds in the bourgeoise fly south for the winter. the west eventually goes so far around the world it becomes east, and well, the north is in a conspiracy with santa claus. so-

MILK: oh my god not santa claus. it makes sense though because santa is pretty much like a sugar daddy.

EGGO: ... wait back this goddamn conversation up hOW did you come to that conclusion-

MILK: he gives expensive gifts to children that sit on his lap.

EGGO: i-

MILK: it's the sitting on the lap for me-

EGGO: ASFLJU-

MILK: maYBE hE'S jUST bi oR sOMEThiNG i dON't kNOw-

EGGO: yOU'RE JUDGING SANTA!!!

MILK: I AM NOT I'M JUST MAKING AN OBSERVATION

EGGO: ... i am thoroughly terrified of santa now.

MILK: well, i mean- he was my sugar daddy too at some point so i'm not exactly complaining

EGGO: miKAYLA

MILK: wHAT?!

EGGO: did you just forget about the whole breaking into your home thing or what??

MILK: ...

MILK: .. so he's a pedophiile-

EGGO: yES-

MILK: but is it so bad?

EGGO:

MILK: it's free presents. and technically it's only one day out of the year so what does he really do?

MILK: does he have a lap fetish? like seriously it's harmless... plus, presents-

EGGO: i think we broke the world.

EGGO: we broke the goddamn world.

MILK: wait don't fix it

EGGO: ???

MILK: if we broke it we can jinx ourselves into a singular reality before it seals again.

EGGO: .. your logic is sound

MILK: alright where we going

EGGO: bitch you're acting like i can think on the spot, now the only thing coming to mind is bikini bottom-

MILK: death but make it  u n d e r w a t e r