Life has its own ways

16.- Revealing his feelings

Later, after the meeting, Dong Hua was sitting and Feng Jiu was laying on the ground under her beloved tree in Taichen's garden and were discussing about the problem.

DH: Are you still angry with me?

FJ: No, I controlled my anger very quickly, because I know that you have a great burden to carry, the world affairs and also my health. I must confess that I had the impulse to go to that wretch and avenge you, but I have promised you to care for your life and my son's one.

DH: Ooh!

He looked at her smiling, but he preferred to keep silence.

FJ: Dong Hua, I am thinking, perhaps we must cut the ties between this spirit and the world, so that it has not the ability to live here. But how could we do it? Is it possible?

DH: We'll see (he avoided any answer).

FJ: You avoid again the answer... but I find it unreasonable, that you persistently don't want me to participate in this final fight. However, you married for the world's sake... (his stare became angry)... alright, alright, I will not say it again... I promise I will not... but there is no reason for you to keep me away from this, while I am capable to help and so save the world... I mean only if there is no other hope. Anyway, what's the use of keeping me alive, if you fail and lose your life, and everything in the world is going to collapse? Can you imagine my life in such an occasion?.. I don't say that you must sacrifice me. Only that...

Dong Hua could no more stand this nonsense. He turned, grabbed her and laid half on her stomach, with his hands around her.

DH: Cut this nonsense! I cannot believe that you are so naive.

She could not believe his reaction and that he was laying half on her stomach and chest... like this!

FJ: Why am I naive and why are you behaving like this? (she tried to get up, but, under his weight and power, this was impossible). Eeeh...! you are pressing my chest and I can't breathe.

He was staring expressionless at her face for long, hesitating what to do, but he was already on his limits. So, finally, he lowered his head and kissed her, passionately and not gently, and hugged her tightly for minutes. Nothing in his action reminded the strict cold god. She could not move, but also she could not react, because she had been caught unprepared, she was feeling very... strangely and something familiar had hit her strongly in her heart. It was happiness and pain together. Finally, he raised his head and looked at her confused pink face and her red lips, saying with hoarse voice.

DH: This is my answer. Now, you have something more to rethink it, like a mature woman.

He got up and left.

But this was unbelievable! Feng Jiu could not catch the meaning. He behaved like..! She felt quite... what exactly and why? No, she didn't want to repeat the past, she had to try again to eliminate... this thing! Her hand was trembling slightly due to Dong Hua's sudden attack and the violent emotions in her heart and mind. She had for many thousand years been thinking that her feelings for him had already been buried in the distant past, of course after too hard efforts. Only, recently, some remnants of them were stirring again in her, but she was terrified that she would make the same mistake... a mistake is always a mistake and not even a marriage can erase it! Since he was not her mate, this love was a mistake... for ever! She didn't want to love him again, if he could not love her back. She didn't want an one-sided love, even if he behaved so well towards her. Never!.. Love must be mutual and not an obligation... She remained sitting in the same position for a long time, trying hard to control herself. Why did he behave so... so recklessly? But Lian Song had made some comments about this relationship, under a different point of view, Cheng Yu also had suspected that Dong Hua had feelings for her. However, the marriage had been decided for some reasonable reasons, which undoubtedly existed. Was she, really, so naive? In the end, she had to clear the things straightly with him. More thoughts were of no use.