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Moving on

Nygmobblepot

Ed decides it's time for him to move on after Isabella breaks up with him by trying to find someone new. But what will Oswald's reaction be when he finds Ed's online dating profile on a dating app? What will Ed's reaction be when he finds out that he's been matched with Oswald? It's hilarious...

Ed POV

"You need to move on, Ed. It's been three months and to be honest, you smell like a dump truck, take a shower...or 5." Barbara says, pinching her noise.

"I loved her, Barbara. You know what it's like to lose someone you love. She broke up with me...I can't believe she left me..."

"Look, you're my friend. I don't want to see you...like this...much longer, Eddie... Ozzie doesn't either. I mean, look at him, he's heartbroken!" Barbara says warmly, her voice oozing sympathy and worry.

"Guess I could...try." I concede, standing up off the couch.

"Whoa, shower! Pew!" She says when I get close to her.

"Sorry..."

I head up to my bathroom and shower quickly. She was right, I do stink. I put on some cologne and deodorant, fix my hair, grab a green suit and a black tie from my closet, put them on, then run back downstairs.

When Barbara saw me, I swear she was about to faint.

"You look so much better!" She gushes, smiling and blushing "You smell better too!" She adds, relieved.

"Okay...so what now? Are we going to a bar or your club?" I ask.

"What?! Are you kidding me?!" She laughs, almost hysterical.

"What?" I say quietly, confused.

"Well, if you have a laptop, you can do it online!" She says happily. I roll my eyes at her.

"Yeah, I have a laptop. It's in my room..." I say quietly.

We go up to my room and get the laptop. After a few minutes of downloading the app, she starts telling me what to do.

"Are you sure that's a good picture?" Barbara asks.

"I think it's fine." I say quietly.

"Okay. Then just click that button and...there you go! It's done!" She says excitedly, kissing my cheek.

"What now?" I ask.

"Now you just wait for a match!" She says giddily.

"Bye, Eddie, see ya later!" She says happily, skipping out of the room.

Oswald POV

I sigh deeply, swigging the last gulp of my whiskey down. My computer pings and I look at the screen. It's something from the dating app Barbara made me install. A match? Unlikely.

I click on the notification and my heart explodes.

Edward Nygma.

Edward. Fucking. Nygma.

I didn't even know he was on here.

"Do I respond? What do I do? Oh fuck, what do I do? Uh...say hi, I should say hi!!!" I say to myself.

I type a quick response, practically hyperventilating.

~Hi, It's me.~

"Hi. Yeah, that works, Right?" I say to myself.

Ed POV

I stare at the screen in shock.

Oswald Cobblepot.

Oswald.
Fucking.
Cobblepot.

"He said ‘Hi.’, oh my God, he said ‘Hi’. What do I do now?" I mutter to myself.

I start pacing back and forth, tugging my hair.

“Maybe you should respond. It's the least we could do for him...you stupid idiot...”

"Shut up, Riddler!" I scream at him.

Moments later, Oswald is pounding on my door. He forces it open and we're staring at each other.

"Uh...I know about the app. Barbara made me do the same thing." He says awkwardly.

"This is just...oh God...I'm not gay, Oswald." I say quietly, looking anywhere but at him.

"Erm... your profile said bisexual."

God-damnit, Barbara...

"I'm not bisexual, I--" he cuts me off by kissing me. Hard.

I should push him away. I should get out of this situation. Reject him. Get him off of me. Something! But instead I find myself pulling him closer. What? Am I really kissing him back? I really am...oh my God...

"Edward..." He sighs when he finally pulls away. I can see the tension in his face. I run my thumb along his cheek, across his bottom lip.

I've always wanted someone to look at me like that...

"I love you, Edward Nygma..." He says warmly, looking at me like I'm the only thing in the world worth looking at.

I come to a shocking revelation. My heart stops, my breath gets caught in my throat, my entire world stops spinning.

"I love you too Oswald Cobblepot..." I sigh, smiling. He smiles fondly at me, tears of pure joy pool in his beautiful green eyes.

"How does dinner this Saturday at 7:30 sound, Mr Mayor?" I say warmly. He chuckles softly, running a hand through my hair.

"Perhaps, Edward...we really are meant for each other." He says warmly, kissing me again. I sigh dreamily against his lips, holding him tight against me.

The next day...

I hum as I cook breakfast for me and Oswald, daydreaming about last night. The best night of my life. My back is still scratched up.

"Last night was amazing." Oswald says, sitting at the kitchen table.

"Yeah...how's the behind?" I ask warmly.

"It's fine." He snickers, embarrassed.

A loud knock on the front door startles us both. I walk to the front door and open it.

"Hey, Barbara." I say quietly, annoyed.

"Hey, Eddie! I just wanted to check in with you to see how my great big super duper fantastic ‘moving on from that evil heartbreaking bitch Isabella’ plan is working out!" She says sweetly.

"Actually, it's going pretty great. I met someone last night. About three hours after you left." I say warmly.

"Really? Who? Are they here?" She says sweetly, smiling.

"Hey, come to the door! Barbara's here!" I yell to Oswald.

He walks in and stands next to me, we're still in pajamas and robes. Barbara's eyes widen in shock when she sees us kiss.

"Oh my God! You're together!" She squeals in delight, hugging us tight.

"Oh, you have no idea how much I love this!!!" She says excitedly, jumping up and down, clapping her hands giddily.

"I've never been happier..." I say warmly, gazing at Oswald. He leans up on his tiptoes and kisses me passionately, tangling his fingers in my hair.

"I'm so happy. I've practically shipped you two for over a year!" She says sweetly, looking on the verge of happy tears.

"I've never been happier..." Oswald says quietly, gazing up at me.

We really are meant for each other....