Forever and Always

Confusion and Misunderstandings

I woke up from my very much needed sleep and stood from the cot after rubbing my eyes and stretching.

All of yesterdays events flooded my mind.

My mother was dead. It was only me and Jacob.

I walked into the main room and found everyone crowded at the table. The only sound that could be heard was the argument that Rick and the man that was named Daryl were having. Daryl thought that when on runs, everyone should fly solo, but Rick thought that it would be safer for everyone to have a partner.

Eventually they decided that the adults would go out and search for themselves while the children would stay at the prison.

"No," Carl said without taking his eyes off of the dry cereal that was sitting in front of him.

Rick tried to reason with Carl for about ten minutes before he finally said,"I don't know why I'm trying to reason with you. You'll probably just leave after everyone else does, won't you."

Carl smiled and Rick sighed.

"Fine, but you're taking Jocelyn with you."

Carl's grin turned into a frown,"No. She probably doesn't even know how to use a weapon."

I took the gun that was still resting in my belt. Aiming it at the dark spot on the wall, I pulled the trigger.

Daryl chuckled,"I'd say that she does, son."

Carl stormed past me and into our cell. I followed. He picked up his hat and the gun that was sitting next to it.

He rested the sheriff hat on top of his head and led me to the prison entrance.

"Let's go."

Suddenly my brother came into my mind because this was the exact spot that Maggie had taken him from me.

"Wait, do you know where Jacob is?"

"He's in the nursery with my sister, Judith."

I looked at Carl, "Is he safe there?"

Carl rolled his eyes,"No, the Walkers are going to bust in here and go to the nursery. Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, and my father are going to let them eat the babies."

"Well, maybe you should go check on them then, Jack Ass." I said when I pushed past him on my way out of the prison and made my way down the small path that eventually led to a street with small houses. The street was very familiar because at the very end, there was a small, beige house that was very familiar. The house that I grew up in. The house my mother raised me in.

I could hear the sound of Carl's protests over the fact that I was passing perfectly good houses. I didn't care about those houses, so I ignored them and him.

When I stepped onto the porch, I moved the small flower pot and took the key that lay under it.

I stepped into the house which smelt the same as it always did after my mother and I finished cleaning.

Like flowers.

I moved into the kitchen and grabbed a garbage bag that was laying in the pantry. I walked over to the cabinets and dumped everything that was in there into the bag. The stuff was all recently bought because my mother had just gone shopping the day that the apocalypse started.

I heard footsteps behind me and cocked my gun to prepare for a Walker.

It wasn't a Walker. It was Carl.

"This was your house, wasn't it?"

As I moved to the next cabinet, I nodded.

He continued,"It's nice. It's a surprise that the Walkers haven't gotten to it yet."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything.

After clearing the cabinet, I dropped the bag into Carl's hands and grabbed another garbage bag from the pantry.

I took the bag upstairs and went into Jacob's nursery. I threw diapers and bottles into the bag and then went for the large baby chest. I grabbed some of Jacob's clothes and hoped that Rick wouldn't mind if Judith wore some of the baby boy's clothes.

I moved into my mom's rooms and grabbed some of her clothes for Maggie and Beth. Then I moved to the other side of the room where my mother kept but never touched my father's clothes. Since she would never be able to wear them again, I felt horrible and thought that it would be better if someone was able to use them. Then I moved to her bathroom and headed straight to the medical supplies. When I left my mother's room, I closed her door and pushed the threatening tears back. The last room that I entered was my own. It was painted a faint pink from when I was a baby and this was my nursery. I had begged my mother for years to change the color but she always said that there wasn't any need. So she kept it the same, and she left the star and moon stickers stuck to the ceiling.

I heard the footsteps again. I turned around to see an empty handed Carl standing in my doorway.

"Where's the food," I said. Even I heard the wavering in my voice.

"On the top of the stairs." he said while coming closer to me.

"I can tell that this place means a lot to you." he said while stoking the large teddy bear that my mom had given me for my seventh birthday.

"No," I said,"I hate this place. It's so childish."

"No, you like it. You just don't want to because you miss your mom. I did the same thing when my mom died. You have to accept it or else it will consume you and you will say and do things that you will regret."

The tears broke free of their restriction and started to flow down my face,"It's not fair. Why do the people so young, like Judith and Jacob, not get to see their parents and why do people like me and you get their family taken away from them? Right in front of them."

He extended his arms and I fell into them. I didn't know why I was letting my guard down to this jack ass. But, then I realized that it was a guard too. He wasn't this mean of a person. It was all an act to keep the people that he loved away from him.

So did that mean that he loved me.

No. I had only just met him yesterday. And even then, he was mean the minute I saw him.

"It's because the world is a dying piece of shit that's trying to screw us all."

And then we stood there holding each other and thinking about the unfairness of the world and how it good to anyone.