Forever and Always

Daydreams and Promises

In the days to come, he didn't seem the same.

He did everything that he was supposed to. We went on runs, killed Walkers, ate. If you didn't know him before his father died, you wouldn't have been able to tell that something was wrong.

But I could. All of us could.

Carl walked and talked as if what he did hadn't happened, but the shadow of his dead father followed him.

Sometimes Carl and I would walk into the main room and find the others talking in hushed tones. When we stepped into the room, they would always quiet. It didn't take much to guess that they were talking about Carl and Rick.

The prison just seemed to be quieter now that Rick was gone. The only sound that could be heard nowadays would be the sound of whispers, tears, and Walkers moaning.

Some time after we had caught Beth talking to Daryl, well whispering to Daryl, we walked into the main room and Carl just snapped.

"If you have anything to say to me, say it to my face."

I grabbed his hand and squeezed. I had been working with him to help him get rid of all of the tension that was building up. I had told him that whenever he felt that he was going to break, he needed to walk away for a while. Apparently, my methods just went over his head because he wasn't supposed to snap.

Beth sighed,"We were just talking about what we could do to help you get through this."

Carl let out a sigh,"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just haven't had a lot of sleep lately. There's nothing that you guys can do to help me unless one of you can raise the dead."

He thought about what he had just said,"And not as Walkers. I just want to tell him that I am sorry for being such a pain in the ass."

Beth got out of her seat and stood in front of Carl. I moved off to the side to give them some space.

"There's nothing that your parents wanted more than for you to continue to live even after they were gone. They are proud of you. They have always been proud of you. Continue to make them proud."

She placed her arms around him and he did the same.

Looking at the two of them together made me realize that they were my family now. Sure, I didn't have a mother or a father, but I had two of each. Beth and Maggie had cared for me as a mother would . They made sure that I ate in the morning and they made sure that I could sleep at night. Glenn and Daryl were like my fathers. They would protect me from anything that could hurt me. Walkers, guns, you name it. Even Carl.

I gave a small smirk as I thought about what Daryl and Glenn would have been like before the apocalypse and they were my fathers. They probably would have looked at Carl on prom night and acted like Carl would do something that night to ruin my whole future. I would have rolled my eyes and called them names, but in a caring way. Then Carl would take me to the car while they Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, and Beth stood in the doorway and threatened the poor, frightened boy.

I shook the thought out of my head. That would have never happened because I hadn't known any of them. Back then, all I had were my mother, father, and Jacob.

If it hadn't been for this apocalypse, I would have never gained so many loving people in my life. I would have never met Beth, Maggie, Daryl, or Glenn. I would have never talked to Carl.

But then again, I would never have lost so many people.

I walked over to Beth and Carl. I wrapped my arms around them and they opened their arms and let me in. Glenn and Maggie got up from their spot in the corner and joined the hug. It got pretty crowded, but we were all willing to sacrifice our personal space just to hold our family because tomorrow, somebody else could go. We all looked at Daryl.

"No."

We all looked at each other and then shuffled towards him. He turned to run, but he was too slow. Even for a bunch of people who were tangled together. We pulled him into our hug and the family was finally complete.

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When we were back in our room, I told Carl about my fantasy from earlier.

"Was I handsome in my tuxedo?" he laughed.

I threw my shoe at him and he dodged it.

"No," I joked, "I mean, just think about it. Where would we have been if this all had never happened?"

"Well," he said as he sat on my cot,"I would probably still be sitting in the background, waiting for you to finally notice me."

I kissed him.

"Well, I think I would still be with those jerkish people. I would say that the apocalypse happened, but then I think of all of the people who lost their lives because of it. Our parents, all of the Walkers."

He let out a deep breath,"You're right. All of those people had their lives taken from them at too early of a time. I want to make sure that I get to live my life as far and as slow that I can. This is the only thing that I want to rush."

I gave him an odd look as he got on one knee.

"It's not for a wedding. I can't ask that of you. Especially when there isn't a sure chance that we will both make it out. I would give my life for you and if I ever have to, I want you to have this."

He pulled a small ring out of his pocket. It was silver and had a nicely sized diamond on it.

"It was my mother's. My dad gave it to her when they were sixteen to promise his love to her. I guess you can call it a promise ring. She gave it to me before she died and said that I should give it to the person that I love. So, Jocelyn Matthews, will you promise to love me as I do you and keep this ring for as long as you shall live."

The tears welled in my eyes as I took the ring and put it on my left hand ring finger,"I do."

As he got off of his knee and hugged me I started to wonder how long we would actually last.

Would it be forever or would one of us die before the other and test their sanity?