Thousand Paper Cuts

Thirty-one : shipwrecked

Skye :

The funeral was depressing as hell. And it always made her sad, because some people are so precious that they do not just deserve some late-mourners fake praying in their perfumed suits. People like James always deserve more.
That was the reason she decided to speak for him, even if nobody really cared.

The funeral was held near some Park under the oak tree, and she would always remember him as her good old friend. She always would.
She came alone, even though Mia had insisted to take her. She walked all the way towards the city, because she could not ride that stupid yellow bicycle..Not anymore.

The air was warm, and the leaves fluttered in the wind. She wondered if that wind, by any means, could take her away too.
When she arrived, she could see some of his relatives in black suits and ties, and it reminded her of Mark and his fetish for black.
Mark......the boy who didn't even need to be fancied to look good. He always looked good, even if he just woke up. She remembered seeing him once laid on the grass, and looking up at the sky, not knowing how his green eyes were just the same as the tall sun-drenched glass.
She wondered why James had mentioned him in the letter, and the mystery she wanted to reveal.

Anyway, she did not wear black, rather the blue dress she'd worn at the date.
The coffin was closed, so she could never see James's face anymore.
She prayed, truly from her heart, that he might be in heaven right now. Maybe all that dead people need are prayers from the living.
Few of his friends eulogized for him, and all of them seemed to not know him completely. Maybe you can never know anyone completely.
A guy in his early fifties even said that how much he missed James and wanted to meet him before he died, but couldn't because he was drowned in everyday life. Bullshit.

After the Priest made his blessings and prayed for James and his happiness in life after or whatever, it was her turn to speak. She hadn't written anything, because every memory with him had been written in her heart :

"My name is Skye McLaren and James was one of my great friends I can't replace. People die everyday, friends and family.....and the world moves on. But there are some people you can't quite forget ; the kind of people too nice to survive in this world, the people who always listen and understand. Like you're walking alone in a far forest with tall dark trees, but then at once you see the light. It's the light of people who've made us realize things. James was one of them. I wish God had granted him few more days, so I could try to know him. I did know how kind, humble and a great man he was, but of course there are certain things I'd like to know, but maybe those are the things you can never know about people. Sometimes you don't even know about yourself....."

She stopped and stared at the far off hill where the sun was blazing high. She inhaled deeply, trying not to cry, but she missed everybody so much.
She slowly spoke again,

"So, I just hope he's in better world now, and James...where ever you are, I'm sending you my love. You'll always be my great friend, because friends don't just die even after they die. Friendship is something infinite."

When she left the podium, she heard some lady saying to her friend,
"Look at her hair. Jesus, how she lives with such kind of crazy hair? They aren't manageable."
For a moment, she wanted someone to correct that lady, but instead, both of those old women laughed as if it was bad to have different hair. So she walked away, because in days like these, she wouldn't even correct herself.

As she moved away from the crowd, she dried her tears from her freckled face. She was angry, but she was so much tired. Without Mark, she was a weed in some desert alone.
"Hey!", she heard someone call her name. She turned around and saw a beautiful teenage girl walking towards her.
"Are you really Skye McLaren?"
She nodded a little, and the girl exclaimed,
"Oh God, I can't believe it."
That girl fished in her bag and brought out a book. And not just 'any' book. Her book. All the good things In life.
"I love your book", the girl started, "I mean....it had helped me alot through my dark times. You're a great writer. Can you please sign this for me?"
The girl opened the front page, where it was written, 'to all those lost people', and Skye was awashed by surprise. She signed the page and the girl before going, spoke,
"You are a true soul. I'll be waiting for your next book. Your book really is something. I didn't know about it. I just found it accidentally, but it sure was the book I was looking for. I love the way you've written hope is everywhere. What a beautiful thought!"
She wanted to scream so loud, that hope was somewhat lost for her, but she just slowly walked away on the concrete footpath. She thought that she should be happy, because she'd been waiting for someone to recognize her book for so long. She had waited her whole life for this kindle moment.
But she was flabbergasted to realize she wasn't happy at all. Without him, even being recognized by the whole world was a fraud and an unnecessary thing. For the first time, she did not want fame, or anyone to love her book.
For the first time, she just wanted him to be the only boy who'd recognize and love her. Whole world meant nothing for her without him. It was sad, but it was true.