Thousand Paper Cuts

Thirty-five : where poets drown

Skye :

Do all the great love stories end like this?
For the first time, she felt like a character from some anonymous book. Please, she sighed, get me out of this.
She felt so unreal, as if the world didn't exist for her, or maybe she didn't exist for the world. Or for him. Especially for him. If she did matter, he would've came back to her. Of course they would've fought. Like they always did. But getting away, drifting apart--it was a holocaust in her life.

When she was done throwing his things and making a big mess out of his room, she finally opened the door and walked out. Mia and Julia were sitting on her house's porch. The sun was hidden by grey mystic clouds, and as they saw her, they ran towards the girl with broken heart and fucked up head.
"Skye! Are you okay?", Julia anxiously asked, rubbing her cheeks with a tissue.
"Oh Skye", Mia exclaimed, "You put one hell of a show back there. What happened?"
She wanted to say things, but she remained like a wallflower. She just kept shaking her head ferociously.
"Come inside", Julia offered, gesturing towards her own house,
"Let's get you in some warm dress. You seem tired."
She wanted to say : not physically. Just tired from this desiring heart. That was when she remembered a poem by cc Cummings :

You are tired
( I think )
Of the always puzzle of living and doing
And so am i

"Where's Adam?", she asked.
Mia gestured towards the lonely road that had trees on both sides, saying,
"He just kept walking, and said he needed time for himself."
She nodded and walked towards that road.
"Where are you going?", Mia asked.
"I need to talk to him."
"Are you sure? Atleast first change this dress or ----"
"No", she replied, "It's okay."
Totally.

She walked along the roadside, exhausted by life, and soon found Adam under the shade of tall trees along the paved road.
She moved ahead and stood few feet away from him. He didn't even look back her. Not even once. They both stood there in profound silence, letting the wind howl. She stood there, her hands closed into fists, remembering all those days of childhood. When she used to run with her barefeet, chasing wild butterflies.
Finally, when he looked long at her, she whispered,
"I'm sorry."
He moved away. Further away. As if he was a grenade.
"Adam!!", she shouted this time.
"Why?", he said slowly, while turning back, "Why? Huh? What happened?"
She had to do it. You need not to pretend all the time. Let it out. Breathe.
"I......I don't love you anymore, and I'm so so so so sorry Adam, but..."
He kept looking at her derisively. He didn't say a word. The lonely wind rushed and leaves left their trees.
She inhaled once more, and continued,
"The only thing you must understand is that I love someone else. Adam, we don't choose who we love, but I'm still deeply sorry. Remember that house next to mine? Well, there once lived a green-eyed boy there. I fell in love with him, and ahh, I don't know how to arrange myself now."
"Once?", he asked.
She nodded, saying,
"He went away. I don't know where, but his going away makes me not want to move ahead anymore."
His eyes filled up with tears, as he spoke,
"Since when is he gone?"
"I think it's been a month."
"And you still love him?"
She nodded, and could never forget the look on Adam's face. He looked hurt. So much that his face didn't even show any expression.
"Is he more handsome?"
She sighed, and spoke,
"That's not the point, Adam. He makes me feel what I've never felt before."
"So you don't love me, right?", he asked, as if still not confirmed.
"I'm sorry", was all she said.
He moved one step away, saying,
"Tell me the clear answer. You don't love me. Yes or no?"
"Yes, I don't....."
He nodded, and moved his hand up the sky. As if he was seeing something above there. He kept moving his hand, as he said,
"Not even when I carried you all the way home that night? Not even when I made you dinner even if I hate cooking? Not even when I wrote a song for you?"
"Adam", she cried, "stop...."
When he did stop, she said,
"Look at those two leaves falling from the same tree."
He looked in the direction of her hand, where two leaves drifted apart in the wind. She continued,
"That's how I feel with him. I may be drifted apart from him, but like those leaves we share the same roots of love and belonging."
He pursed his lips and said,
"Okay. There are two options : either I let you go, or I kick his ass..."
"Adam....."
"Skye....", he let it out softly, tears streaming down his eyes, "I love you....."
"I know..."
"Then love me back!!!", he cried.
"Adam, I can't....I just can't...it doesn't work this way..."
He looked away and narrowed his eyes.
"Go away then......" he said.
"Adam......"
"I let you go, Skye..."
She nodded, took off her ring and gave it back to him. He took it from her and threw it amid the tall trees, where it ricochet on the ground.
"Will we still remain friends?", she asked.
He started walking away, slowly, without looking back.
He was perfect. He walked with grace. He was so hot. So beautiful.
But she let go of him for a green-eyed boy who was somewhere far far away, in misery.