Thousand Paper Cuts

Twenty-seven : beautiful and lonely

Skye :

When they arrived at the river, finally, it was almost evening. The kind of evening that made everything beautiful and lonely. Like the creeks. The sun was setting over the horizon.

There was nobody at the river, and there was a deep forest at the far side of it.
But....that was it. Nothing else. There was no him, staring back at her. No him running his fingers through dark brown hair.
But just the sound of wind and flowing water. She felt deeply, completely, empty.
"Oh dear", Mia exclaimed.
When she didn't reply, Mia asked,
"Maybe he's somewhere else, Skye....like at his dad's house or something?"
"No", she replied slowly, "The way he had written in this notebook, there can be no other place than this. Plus, I'd met his dad early this morning. He doesn't know anything."
"Well", Mia responded, tossing a rock in the river, "Maybe we can go in that forest?"
She smirked and said,
"Huh, that is improbable. It's really inhabited. Whoever will go there will surely be eaten by bugs. How can a boy who lives in a large 80's mansion survive there?"
"Call him then..."
When Skye did, his phone was powered off.
It's all my bloody fault. She thought.
The river looked quite peaceful, just the kind of place Mark should have been.
But what if..............he drow---, no. No. No. No.
She reached farther towards the river and bent down. She touched the water with her red painted nails and felt a slight rush capturing her soul. She felt strange....
"Are you okay, Skye?"
"Yeah. Fine."

She stood up and they both faced at the far end, staring at water rising up and rising down.
Moments of silence later, Mia suggested,
"I guess we should find him somewhere else then. Perhaps he's at his dead friend's home or grave?"
"No", she spoke, "if he were there, Lucas's dad would have told his dad. And about the grave...I've read that it's somewhere in the village far away, and Mark had never gone there before."
Mia placed her arms around her and replied,
"What if he IS there? I can take you. Blue Citrus can suffer!!!"
"No Mia. No", Skye shook her head, "I've caused you enough trouble. Plus, I'm sure he's not there."
"How can you know?"
She stared at the river, longer than ever. The water kept on flowing, unmindful of the rocks in the way. It made her want to go there and drown. Because her hopes had been dashed to the ground.
She had so much fear right now, and so many stupid thoughts chaining her mind.
Something inside of her broke, as she said,
"Let's just go home."

                             .........   

Night fell real fast, as they made their way back home. The stars were shimmering bright, and she remembered how much he loved the galaxies and constellations. She wanted to run to him and tell him that her only galaxy was in his eyes.
But, he was gone, darkening her whole life.....

"Are you okay?", Mia asked for the millionth time, as they finally arrived the busiest part of city.
She did not reply. Not right away. Because she was thinking about the way life had been too long since last night.
"Just", she whispered, "drive me to the library."
"But, Skye, you need rest. We've been out since morning."
"I don't think I can sleep", she replied staring outside at the dark fallen sky remembering those times when her days and nights revolved around him.

She entered the library and sat at the farthest corner. There was already a book placed on the table, "Afire love", and she kept staring at it.
Mark had wanted to escape the suffering, and now she was stuck in it too. She realized there was no start or end of suffering, but you just have a feeling that you're lost in a maze out at midnight and you can't see anything. That kind of feeling. But maybe there really was a way out of suffering. She didn't know yet. Maybe she could never write it out for him. She could never complete that stupid deal. She was herself in the ocean.