lover of mine // mgc

it's alright, it's ok

song for the chapter: it's alright, it's okay - ashley tisdale

"how was your nap?"

bee asked as i walked into the living room and yawned.

"it was fine. would've been better if i didn't cry myself to sleep."

i sighed as i plopped down next to them on the couch.

"he isn't worth your tears. i promise you'll find someone better."

"but what if i don't want anyone better? i want michael."

i said. michael is the love of my life. there's no changing that. but it's like fate doesn't want us to ever be together. there's always something getting in the way. and i'm just getting exhausted of the fighting and the battles with him.

i feel like he's not even trying anymore. he says how much he loves luna and i, but when does he ever show it? because it's not often. maybe veronica was right. maybe my parents were right. maybe he is bad news for luna and i.

"i know you do. but sometimes it's right person, wrong time. you have your whole life to find the right person. don't give up when you're just 22."

bee said. they're right. i shouldn't put all my eggs into one basket. but it's also hard not to when i'm pregnant with his child. before i could say anything else, we both heard a knock from the door. bee got up to answer it and when they came back, i could see the worry written on their face.

"what's wrong?"

i asked them.

"you have a visitor."

bee said. i looked at them confused before crystal came into my vision. why the hell would crystal be here to see me?

"hey. can we talk?"

crystal asked me.

"i mean, you're already here so. sit down."

i said as i motioned for crystal to sit next to me. as soon as she sat down, i could tell she was ready to cry. i just don't understand why she would be so emotional while talking to me.

"um, so i have to tell you something. and i can understand if you never want to talk to me again but i have to get this off my chest. it's not fair to keep it from you."

crystal said.

"just spit it out and tell me. i can take it crystal."

i said.

"um, so the night you and michael got into that big fight, he came to my house. and we had sex."

crystal said. i felt my heart stop. he left me for her. he wanted her more than me. i knew it. i fucking new it.

"i'm so sorry alex. i really am."

crystal said as tears fell down my face. that's it. i've lost him. before i could say anything to crystal, bee's front door opened and michael appeared in the living room. but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw crystal and i. and my tear stained face.

"alex-"

"just save it michael."

i said as i got up off the couch and turned to go to the guest bedroom, but michael grabbed my hand.

"let go of me!"

i yelled as i snatched my hand away.

"i hate you michael. i hate you so much. i tried to give you a fucking out months ago. and you never took it. so now you've been leading me on and dragging me along for months. why didn't you just fucking leave me before?!"

i screamed at him.

"because i want you! i love you and luna."

"don't even say her name. you have no right to even say luna's name anymore. better yet, leave us both alone. go be with crystal. leave us the fuck alone!"

"please don't do this alex. please don't leave me."

michael said as tears fell down his face.

"i didn't do this. you did this to us. to your daughter. my parents and veronica were right about you. you're just bad news. i lost my family and my best friend for what? to get my heart broken by you? to be treated like some fan who you fuck on the tour bus? i'm sick of this michael. i can't put luna and myself through this anymore."

i said as i wiped my tears away. i can't cry over him anymore. i have to be strong.

"i hope you're really happy with crystal. don't ever talk to me again. and you can just forget about seeing luna."

i said before storming down the hall, into the guest room, and slamming the door. i refuse to be treated like an idiot. i refuse to be cheated on, belittled, and made to feel like less of a person while michael gets no repercussions. i'm sick of it all.

+

"alex!"

i heard bee call from the kitchen. it's been three days since michael and i's final fight. i haven't heard from him at all, not that i expected to. but it still hurts a bit. i do miss him.

"what?"

i called before walking into the kitchen. that's when i was greeted by a huge bouquet of flowers on the counter.

"who sent you flowers?"

i asked bee.

"more like who sent you flowers. and i have the answer. it's michael."

bee said as they handed me an envelope. i opened it up and pulled out a letter that michael hand wrote.

dear alexandria,
i love you. and i'm sorry. i know i've been the shittest father and boyfriend a guy can be. i'll be honest, i'm scared. i want to be the best for you and luna but i'm scared i won't be. i want to be the best person i can be for you two.

i've been in love with you since the moment i laid eyes on you in the 10th grade. you were standing on the quad, adjusting your way too small uniform, while looking at your schedule. i was in love. calum still teases me about it to this day. and the first time i talked to you, i knew you were the girl for me. i was just so scared to tell you.

you've always been the one there for me. through everything in my life, you've stuck by my side. and i'm sorry i haven't been doing that for you for one of the hardest experiences of your life. i know this pregnancy takes everything out of you. i know you're trying to stay strong for luna. and i'm sorry that i am the cause of your pain most of the time.

i was so scared when you told me you were pregnant. but the minute i saw you break down, i knew i needed to be your rock. and i've done the shittiest job possible at doing that. and if you can't find it in your heart to forgive me, please let me be in luna's life. i want to be the best dad i can for her. she deserves it. i just hope you can forgive me at least enough for that.

i love you so much. please don't forget that. and please tell luna that her daddy loves her so much. and that he's so so sorry.

- michael.

the tears were streaming down my face at that point. it's a lot to take in. but in this moment, i don't have the heart to forgive him. so i ripped the letter up and threw it away.

"you can do the same with those flowers."

i said before heading back to the guest bedroom. it's not something i can just forgive michael for. he broke me. he treated me like i'm not even important in his life. and if luna and i aren't going to be at least treated like we're important to him, we'll be nothing to him.