lover of mine // mgc

it's what brings you back

13 weeks pregnant

I stared down at the text from crystal as i sighed. it's been a week since i got this text and i have no idea what to do about it. i said a lot of hurtful things to michael. i love him but i don't know if he'd forgive me. i know luna is missing her daddy just as much as i am. it's been hell without him.

asher volunteered to take luna to the park for a few hours so i could get a moment to relax. and since dustin was at work, that left me with an empty house. i threw my phone down on the couch and ran through my hair with frustration. i don't know what to do anymore. life just feels impossible anymore.

i got up off the couch and walked into the spare bedroom where luna and i were staying. i rummaged through my suitcase and pulled out a pair of leggings and a t-shirt. i hate living out of my suitcase. i just want to go home. but i think i've ruined what luna and i used to consider home.

i glanced down at my ring finger and sighed when i didn't see the rings that use to fit perfectly on them. how do we let tours ruin our relationship every time? it's like there's a curse on them or something. no matter what we do, whenever michael goes on tour it's just a recipe for disaster.

i walked into the bathroom and started to change my clothes. but my heart stopped as i pulled down my pants and saw the worst familiar sight. blood. my hands started shaking as the memory of our miscarriage came flooding back into my brain.i quickly changed my pants and ran out to get my phone in the living room. neither asher or dustin answered so there was only for more person i could call.

"hello?"

i heard the other line say as they picked up.

"m-michael?"

i choked out as tears fell down my face. this can't be happening. this cannot be fucking happening again.

"alex? what's wrong?"

michael asked with concern written all over his tone.

"i-i'm bleeding and asher and dustin aren't home. can you take me to the hospital?"

i sobbed.

"i'll be there in five minutes. just try and stay calm. everything will be okay."

michael said before hanging up. i put my phone down and just started hypervenilating. if this is another miscarriage, i think it'll break me. there's no way i'm strong enough to do this again. it'll break me. just like he said, michael turned the normally 15 minute drive into a five minute one and was racing in the door while i was mid panic attack.

"m-mikey."

i sobbed as michael rushed to my side.

"hey, don't cry. it's okay. everything is going to be okay. you need to breathe."

michael said. after i finally calmed down, michael brought me out to the car and we were on our way to the hospital. i texted asher to let him know what happened and he offered to take luna for the rest of the night. as we raced towards the hospital, i grabbed michael's hand and he lightly squeezed mine.

"i love you."

michael said as he placed a kiss on the back of my hand. i stared out the window as we pulled into the hospital. michael rushed into the hospital and returned with a nurse and a wheelchair. they quickly took me back and got me into an exam room. a doctor came in and started an ultrasound as i grabbed michael's hand. and that's when the familiar sound of our child's heartbeat filled the room.

"oh thank god."

i whispered as i let out a sigh of relief.

"see? i told you it would be okay."

michael said as he ran his hand through my hair. i'm honestly so glad michael is here. he just knows how to comfort me like no one else can. the doctors did a few more tests and came to the conclusion that i just had a cyst that popped and it didn't bring any danger towards the baby or i. after i got discharged, michael and i sat in the car and just took everything in.

"do you want me to take you back to asher and dustin's?"

michael asked me.

"no. i wanna come back home with you. i have something to show you."

i said as i pulled my phone from my back pocket. i pulled up crystal's text and showed it to michael.

"that...bitch."

michael said with anger written all over his face.

"i'm sorry for not believing you and bee."

"it's okay. i just want you and luna back home. i want to be a family again."

"i want that too."

i said with a smile. michael placed a kiss to my lips before we left the parking lot. luna is staying the night with asher and dustin so at least michael and i will have a night to ourselves before we get her tomorrow.

"i never noticed that you were showing until right now."

michael said as he pulled into the garage.

"yeah. sierra noticed the other day. i guess life has just been too hectic nowdays."

i shrugged.

"i love it. you look amazing pregnant."

michael said as i smiled. we walked into the house and i saw my mail thrown about on the kitchen island. i started rummaging through when a certain letter caught my eye.

"ooh, look. the lab results are back."

i showed michael. after i miscarried, the hospital offered us a test to be able to find out what the baby's gender was. it took a few months to come back but they're finally here.

"should we open them?"

i asked michael.

"only if you want to."

he said. i took a deep breath before ripping the envelope open and looking over the letter.

"it was a boy."

i said as tears gathered in my eyes.

"we should give him a name"

michael suggested.

"i've always liked the name luca."

"alright. luca clifford it is."

michael said as he looked down at the letter. it breaks my heart to know that we will never be able to hold our little luca. we'll never get to know him or meet him. it's so sad. but i'm glad we at least have a name for him. it brings me a bit of comfort. luna, luca, and baby clifford.