lover of mine // mgc

the story of another us

song for the chapter - story of another us - 5 seconds of summer

9 weeks pregnant.

"i just don't know what to do v."

i said as i rested my hands around the warm mug that sat in between them. i called veronica as soon as i woke up and told her everything that happened last night with michael. she raced over here as soon as she could, thankfully not waking michael up in the process, and we've been talking about it ever since.

i have no clue if i should ask michael if what he said was true or not. i don't want to start a fight between michael and i. i don't want him to feel pressured to tell me about any feelings he might have had. and i don't want to embarrass myself or get my hopes up when he was incredibly intoxicated when he said those things. 

but at the same time, what if those feelings are there? we all know i have feelings for michael, what if those feelings are reciprocated? but, at the same time, i can't risk losing him. i can't risk him leaving me or the baby. i'd like to believe michael isn't like that but...i don't know. what if my mum is right?

"i think you should just ask him about it. he isn't going to go anywhere. and what if he has the same feelings for you? you'd finally have the one thing you've wanted since i met you. you'd have the family you always dreamed about. remember how sad you were when you found out that michael and crystal were engaged and you thought you'd never have a chance with him again?"

veronica asked. she does have a point. when michael and crystal got engaged, i was devastated. of course i put on a brave face for michael's sake and acted for him, but behind closed doors with veronica, i was broken about it. i felt like i had lost the chance at the family i have wanted for years. i love michael. but there's still a lot of risk in having this conversation with him.

before i could answer veronica's question, i heard footsteps come down the hall and a clearly hungover michael appeared. 

"i'll take that as my cue to leave. good luck."

veronica said before gathering her stuff and walking out the door.

"why was she in such a rush?"

michael asked me.

"she's uh...got work. how are you feeling?"

i asked, swiftly changing the subject.

"i've never been this hungover in my life. not even on my birthday."

michael said as we both laughed.

"do you remember anything that happened last night?"

"um, i remember luke and i sitting with you and veronica. not much past that."

michael said.

"oh, okay. do you want some breakfast?"

"sounds amazing."

michael said as i laughed. i got off of the couch and went into the kitchen and started preparing eggs and bacon. as i started cooking, michael sat on the counter, trying to nurse his headache with juice. that was until his phone rang.

"who is it?"

i asked michael as i turned the stove off.

"cal. i'll be right back."

he said before he hopped off the counter and walked out to the patio. i put our food on our plates and began to walk out to the patio when i heard michael still on the phone. and this isn't something i'd normally admit to but...i started listening to the conversation.

"i don't know what i'm going to do cal. she asked me this morning if i remembered anything and i had to lie and say that i didn't. and she never brought it up so...i don't know if she even feels the same way. she acted like everything is okay. i'm such an idiot for telling her that i love her."

michael said. there was a pause, i'm guessing because calum was saying something on the other end, before michael spoke up again.

"of course i want to be with her cal but...i'm scared that i'll do something wrong and she'll be out of my life forever. or she'll take the baby and leave me. i can't live without her, cal."

michael said. my heart broke when i heard him say that. all the things that i'm scared of...so is he. i wish i could run out there and give him a huge hug but...i can't. i'm not suppose to know this. i'm not supposed to know how he feels about me.

i walked onto the patio and past michael, acting as if i hadn't heard a word he just said, and placed our plates on the glass table that sat in the middle of it. michael quickly ended his call and came over to join me for breakfast.

"i thought eggs made you sick?"

michael asked me.

"they do but i'm also craving them. this child truly is yours."

i said with a giggle.

"did you know that you're nine weeks already? it feels like just yesterday you were telling me that you're pregnant."

"well it practically was just yesterday."

i said, causing michael and i to laugh. i looked into his emerald eyes and my heart just melted. i want to be able to call this man mine. i want him to be mine. but i don't think it's going to happen. clearly neither of us are going to tell one another about our feelings. maybe in a past life we were together and it all worked out. but i don't think it'll work out in this lifetime. maybe it's better if we keep it under wraps. maybe it'll be easier for not only our friendship, but also for the baby. cause it's not just us anymore. we have to think about our child too.