lover of mine // mgc

drunk confessions

song for the chapter - out of my limit - 5 seconds of summer

have you ever lost your entire family within a minute? it's hell. i know i have the boys and veronica but...it still feels like hell knowing that my family doesn't want me all because of one mistake.

"you okay?"

veronica asked me, knocking me out of my thoughts. my attention was brought back to the party that michael dragged me to at luke's house. i don't wanna be here. i'd much rather be at home, sulking in my room like i've done for the last three days. but michael thought it would be best if i went with him and get out of bed to see everyone. but besides the morning sickness and the depression, i just feel miserable at this party.

"i'm fine."

i said with a slight smile.

"you don't seem fine."

veronica asked as she took a sip of her drink.

"i just feel nauseous. morning sickness sucks."

"you sure it's not because of your family?"

veronica asked suspiciously.

"i mean, i'm upset about it but i can't really tell anyone."

"why not?"

"i just...i don't want michael to feel guilty about it. knowing him, he'll feel like he was responsible. but he wasn't. this was my fault."

"i mean, it takes two to tango."

veronica said, causing us both to giggle.

"but still, you know how michael is. i don't want him to feel guilty. he'll take this personally and i don't want him to feel like that."

"but you need to tell him how you're feeling. it's not good for you or for the baby."

"i know. i just don't even wanna think about it."

i sighed. before veronica could say something else, michael and luke came over to the couch veronica and i were sitting down and took a seat next to us. 

"hey mama bear."

luke joked before taking another sip of his drink.

"hey."

i sighed as i picked at the fray of my jeans. i felt michael's arm wrap around my waist as my body tensed up at his touch. even though he does it all the time, feeling michael put his arm on my waist or feeling him pull me close will always catch me offguard.

"you okay?"

michael whispered to me, concern written all over his face.

"i'm fine. just tired."

i said as i put a fake smile on my face.

"do you wanna go home?"

"no! you should stay and hang with your friends."

"you and the baby mean more to me than hanging out with the guys. if you're tired, we should go home."

michael said as i sighed.

"michael, go hang out with your friends. we will be fine here with veronica. you never see your friends. go be with them."

i said as i placed my hand on his knee.

"okay. i'll be right around the corner if you need anything."

michael said before him and luke stood up and walked off. veronica looked at me with a look of surprise as a deviant smile grew on her face.

"what?"

i asked her.

"he's so in love with you. and you just don't see it."

veronica said before taking a sip of her drink.

"no he's not. he's still in love with crystal. it's obvious."

i said with a roll of my eyes. ah, crystal. michael's ex-fiancé who was convinced that he was cheating on her with me. i mean, i get what it looks like. i lived in the same house as him. but michael and i didn't start having sex until way after they broke up. and i don't have anything against the girl. we were friends for a while before she started becoming suspicious of michael and i. i wish i could go back to being friends with her too. 

"i mean, there's probably a small chance of him still being in love with her. but the way he looks at you alex...he's in love with you."

"don't get my hopes up, veronica. even though i love him..."

my voice trailed off as we both looked over at michael, who was talking with luke and calum.

"...he could never love me like that."

i sighed. a few hours passed and i was soon helping a drunk michael back into our house. good thing i'm pregnant because if i wasn't...we would definitely both be drunk and passed out in luke's yard. wouldn't be the first time though. i helped michael into his bedroom and when he laid down, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into bed with him. 

"michael what are you doing?"

i giggled as we both stared up at the ceiling.

"i don't want you to leave yet."

michael slurred, the smell of alcohol basically seeping from his pores. 

"mikey, i'm tired."

i said as i turned my head to look at him.

"i have something to tell you."

"and what's that?"

i asked him.

"i'm in love with you."

michael blurted out. my heart stopped as i searched his face for anything that could tell me that he was joking. i mean, he's drunk. he can't be serious. people say a lot of shit when they're drunk.

"w-what?"

"i've been in love with you since freshman year. luke told me that it would be bad to tell you but...i'm in love with you alexandria."

michael said again. my heart felt like it was going to burst. but then the realization of michael being drunk set in. although drunk words may be sober thoughts, i can't take drunk michael seriously. even though i would love to believe the words he's telling me.

"michael, you need sleep. goodnight."

i said as i got up off his bed, turned the light off, and walked to my room. but my mind continued to race all night. is he seriously in love with me? or is that just the vodka in his system talking?