lover of mine // mgc

broken home

"alexandria!"

i heard michael call throughout the house as i fixed luna a bottle. after i got home, i called asher and he brought luna back over for me. i just want to be around my little girl and not have to deal with this fighting. 

"hopefully daddy won't yell at mummy while you're in her arms."

i said as i shook the bottle up. michael and i always had one thing in mind when it came to parenting: we'd never let the girls see us fight. i just hope he can remember that before he tears into me. which, of course, he will.

"alex!"

michael yelled as he stormed into the kitchen. that's when he spotted luna in my arms and sighed.

"dada!" 

luna exclaimed as she reached out for michael. michael's anger washed away and a smile grew on his face. he took luna from me and i handed him the bottle.

"we're talking about this once she's asleep."

michael muttered to me as i rolled my eyes. michael disappeared down the hall and i went into the laundry room. i quickly changed out of my skintight dress and into a hoodie and sweatpants. when i walked back into the living room, michael was sitting on the couch. his anger towards me was more than apparent. i guess luna couldn't soften him up in just the tiniest bit.

"can i go to bed or do you wanna scream at me?"

i asked michael as i crossed my arms across my chest. 

"you know alex, tonight was supposed to be one of the biggest nights for not just me, but for the rest of the group. and you just had to make it about yourself."

michael snapped at me. is he ridiculous or what? 

"really michael? how about the fact that you knew you were going on tour early? how about the fact that you make all these promises that you can't fucking keep?!"

"really? like what alex?"

"like the fact that you keep saying you'll be here with leilia is born but you'll be in japan or some shit! you always put the band before us!"

"i can't help it's my fucking job alexandria. it's not like you work to support this family."

michael said as i clenced my jaw. how fucking inconsiderate can he be? it's like he always has to throw the fact that i don't have a job and that I'm a stay-at-home mom in my face.

"i fucking take care of luna all day! I'm sorry i choose to watch our child while you tour the world and fuck whoever the hell you want to!"

i yelled at him. michael huffed at me before looking at me with disbelief written all over his face.

"you know, you are not the girl that i fell in love with. you've become some type of selfish monster. and you know what, maybe it happened after we lost luca. which the more i think of it, maybe it was for the best. because you never could of loved him the way you love luna or lailia."

michael said as my heart sunk to my stomach. what a low blow. does he really think bringing luca into some stupid fight is a great way for him to win? because what it really does is just break me.

"what are you saying? are you saying that i was to blame for luca dying?"

i asked michael, goosebumps rushing up and down my body. saying his name always brings chills back up my spine. 

"maybe you were. and maybe you were the reason that i never got to properly grieve."

michael said. 

"and what does this mean? why don't you just leave me already if I'm the reason you're never going to be able to grieve luca. why don't you just fucking leave me if I'm such a horrible wife?"

i said as tears gathered in my eyes.

"maybe getting a divorce is for the best."

michael said as i choked on my tears. hearing him say the word divorce is like breaking my heart into a trillion tiny pieces. 

"maybe it is."

i said, my voice breaking as i tried to hold my emotions back. michael got up and walked out of the house and that's when the floodgates really opened. i guess michael finally telling me how he really feels is a good thing. i just wish we could've stopped this train before it derailed. because now our marriage is ruined. and i don't think we'll ever be able to give luna and lailia a normal life again.