lover of mine // mgc

so you thought

song for the chapter: what if i told you that i love you? -ali gatie

"she's really your daughter. she barley even fits newborn clothes anymore."

i said to michael as i picked luna up from the changing table and held her close to my chest. it's hard to believe that she's been here for a week already. she is such a relaxed baby. she wakes up every three hours and once she eats, she falls right back to sleep. and she loves smiling and being around her dad. she is the biggest daddy's girl ever.

karen went back to australia a few days ago so it's really only been the three of us. it's been a hard adjustment but i think michael and i have a hang on things. we have a good way of balancing so that both of us are doing equal work. it's never just one person taking care of luna more than the other. it's a partnership.

"you always blame her height on me."

michael laughed as i sat down on the rocking chair. 

"she only gets it from you. doctor green did say that she was tall for being a newborn."

i said as i started to rock luna back and forth.

"well if she gets my height, my face, my eyes, and my attitude, what does she get from you?"

"i don't know. maybe the next one will get my features."

"next one?"

michael asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"don't read too much into it. it was a joke."

i said as i swiftly tried to change the subject. truth be told, i could see michael and i having another baby. but that would be way down the road. i want it to be just the three of us for a while. besides, it's not like michael and i are together anyways. we might never be.

before michael could retort back, his phone began to ring. he walked out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a concerned look on his face.

"what's wrong?"

i asked him. he sighed as he sat down on the ottoman in front of me.

"that was our tour manager. they want us back on tour as soon as possible."

michael said as my heart sunk to the deepest part of my stomach.

"how soon is soon?"

"...the end of the week."

"the end of the week?!"

i asked, being careful of the sleeping newborn in my arms.

"i know, i know. it's not fair."

"you're damn right it isn't. you just had a child, don't they understand that?!"

"they do. but the venues and the people who work for the tour don't. it's now or never. we have to do this or we could lose all of our tour spots and disappoint all the fans."

"i'm glad the fans are more important than luna and i."

i said as i ran my hand through my hair.

"don't act like that alex."

"well how else am i suppose to act? this is so unfair. you're leaving me to take care of a newborn on my own."

"you act like i fucking want to!"

michael yelled at me. and that's when luna started to cry. 

"let's just talk about this later."

i said as i tried to rock luna back to sleep and michael walked out of the nursery. this isn't fair at all. i know michael has to do this but...isn't there some way he can put his foot down? is there some way he can try and fight to stay with us when we need him most? it seems like he isn't even trying to stay home. after i got luna to sleep, my phone rang. i picked it up and saw bee's face lit up across the screen.

"hey."

i said as i sat down on the rocking chair.

"hey. did you hear about tour?"

they asked.

"yeah. it's unbelievable. i hate that they get no say in when they have to leave. and now michael won't be here for however many months of luna's life. at least luna and i have you."

"yeah, about that."

bee said as i raised an eyebrow.

"i got an offer to be their tour photographer. and i took it. it's too big of an opportunity not to. please understand."

bee said as i sighed.

"no, i get it."

i said as i tried to hide my tears. bee too? and there's no doubt that sierra and kaykay are going to go be with the guys. so i'm going to be stuck here with a newborn all by myself how fantastic.

"i'll talk to you later bee. i gotta go talk to michael."

"okay. love ya."

"love ya too."

i said as i hung up. i sighed as i grabbed the baby monitor and walked out to the living room where michael was sitting on the couch with his head buried in his hands. i sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"i'm sorry. if i could change this i would."

michael said.

"i get it. it's not your fault. it just sucks. i'm fucking terrified to be alone with luna."

"don't be. you're the best mum ever. you're going to do amazing."

michael said as he looked up at me.

"god i hope so."

i said as i let out a breath. i looked up at michael's beautiful green eyes as our faces found themselves just inches away from each other. and then our lips connected. i can't say i regret this kiss. it gave me such familiar butterflies. like i've been craving it for months. and maybe i have.

"i'm sorry."

michael said as we both pulled away.

"don't be sorry. i wanted it."

i said.

"i still have feelings for you. just thought you should know."

michael said as i rested my head on his shoulder.

"i know. i heard you telling calum how you wanted to marry me still."

"you did?"

"yeah."

"so...what do you think?"

"well, i don't think we're quite ready for engagement. but we could try dating. baby steps though."

"i'd like that."

michael said with a smile.

"you know, this feels awfully familiar."

michael added.

"what does?"

"us getting together and then i have to go on a tour."

"oh shush."

i said as we both giggled. i really don't know what this tour could mean for our new relationship. will it build up our trust and love for one another and our family as a whole? will it break us apart like it did the last time? i guess only time will tell.