He's my son (One Direction)

Awkward Converstations

We just left the hospital and I was driving rather cautiously, too caustically. Zayn put on heartbreaker, making things only more awkward than before, and I focused on trying to maneuver through the crowded streets.

"You know eventually you'll have to tell people he's my son, right?" He turned down the music and looked out the window.

"No shit Einstein."

He surprised me and said, "Why did you never tell me you were pregnant?" I kept my eyes on the road but inside I was ripping up my old pictures of us.

"You were with Perrie. You even told me you didn't want kids until you were in your late 20s. I was with Harry and he said he'd take care of him. I was only 16, didn't know what to do. You cheated on me and said some harsh things. I didn't want Nathaniel to be around you."

The silence that followed was making the awkwardness grow. I never meant to keep it from his as long as I did. I tried to tell him once before, but when I saw his lifestyle, I knew he would let Danny down. Zayn, underneath his layers, has always been a loving guy. Repsectful, understanding, caring, dependable, but he builds these thick walls. Outside, the world knows him as Zayn Malik of One Direction. I knew Zapper, the kid who fell off the swings, the boy my mom called girly.

"You were right to do that, I was stupid and young. I said some fucked up stuff about you and I'm sorry. You told me, eventually. I knew the first time I saw him. He does look just like me. The fans aren't stupid. They will figure it out sooner or later, if they haven't already." He cursed and ducked his head.

Shit. Paps.

"Great Zayn now we're being mobbed." Girls came running towards the car and the cameras kept flashing. I was stuck behind a car and couldn't drive anywhere. When the light turned green, I pushed my foot on the gas.

"Have you told Perrie about Nathaniel?"

He let out a coughed and looked back out the window.

"No, haven't seen her yet. She's in New York right now, performing." His phone buzzed and he texted someone back. We pulled up to Taco Bell and went through drive through.

"What do you want?" I asked him. He kept getting distracted by the hobos dancing drunkly.

"I can't see the menu." He ducked his head and moved forward towards me. His head was literally right by my boobs.

"Welcome to Taco Bell, what would you like?" The man on the intercom asked. Zayn leaned back and nudged my boob slightly.

"Pervert." I stick my tongue out and he did the same.

"I want the nacho supreme and a coke." He put his sun glasses on trying to appear somewhat cool. I remember him riding his bike to my house and fell when he slid on some ice. I cried from laughing so much.

"Yeah I'll have a chicken quesadilla, 2 nacho supremes, 2 Cokes, and 1 spite."

"Olay, is everything on the screen right?" He boringly sneered.

"Yep."

"Your total is $12.50. Please pull up to the window."

I pulled up and took out a $10 and three dollars. I handed the guy the money and he kept smiling at me. Zayn put his hand on my thigh and smiled at the guy. He looked away and handed me back my change. I pulled up to the next window and noticed Zayn'a hand was still there.

"Do you mind Zayn." I looked down at his hand. He squeezed my thigh and laughed.

"Sorry love, old habit." He took his hand off and I passed him his drink. I got the bag of food and headed back to the hospital. When I was about to get out of the car Zayn stopped me.

"Would you ever give 'us' another chance?" He gripped my arm and smiled.

The more I thought about me and Zayn, the more I wanted to vomit. Yes, I had his child, and I love him. Yet, when I met Harry, everything changed. My life had been a series of unfortunate events, literally. Harry had done things Zayn never accomplished. I had mistaken wasps for butterflies. I portrayed Zayn as someone he never really was. I conjured up the Zayn I wanted because the real Zayn wasn't someone I wanted to spend forever with.

I was a teenager who thought a superficial relationship was better than being alone. I was so caught up in having fun, that I had forgotten to use my brain. My entire pregnancy was a wake up call. I was never going to grow up to be a princess, I don't need someone to save me, and Zayn was never the person I wanted to share vows with.

It's always been Harry, since the day I saw him, he's never left my mind.