Closer 2

95.

Brett didn't want to think about why Eddy had been gone so long. He didn't want the thought saying he was avoiding him, the tiny idea that maybe he was with someone else, that just maybe he had finally grown tired of the extra fat on his hips and his stupid whining.

He simply didn't want to think about it.

That's why he had gone to bed right after Elise had. It was difficult to think when he was sleeping, and he didn't want his brain to continue this train wreck until he could talk to Eddy. And properly this time.

Brett curled up under the duvet, squeezing his eyes shut and willing his brain to shut up by talking to himself in his head, repeating phrases like "We'll talk about it and then I'll think about it" and "shut up and gi ti sleep". It was kind of working.

...

When Eddy finally gathered himself enough to feel sure he'd at least be able to get through the door and to the shower to finish crying, he went home and found their house dark. He wasn't sure if he was grateful for or terrified from that. It wasn't THAT late.

He got his shoes off, trying to be quiet so he wouldn't wake anyone. Maybe he could go straight to bed and calm down until tomorrow?

After listening outside the bedroom door to hear if Brett was awake for a minute, he carefully opened the door and peeked inside.

Thankfully, Brett was fast asleep. It hurt a bit that he had his face buried in his pillow. He questioned if it really was worth making Brett fall asleep on his own for that happiness high from the hour and a half he had spent with Leonora. The high he was crashing hard from right now.

Eddy carefully pulled his jeans off before sitting down on the bed, slowly in an attempt to not wake Brett and be forced to face his emotions and worries right then. He kicked his socks off, letting his clothes just drop to the floor. He'd deal with everything tomorrow. Right now he just wanted to sleep and forget about life.

He didn't realize he didn't really have a pillow until he tried to lie down and then remembered Brett was hugging it like it was the only thing keeping him on the Earth. Still, Eddy tried to very carefully pull itt away from him. He just wanted some comfortable sleep.

Unfortunately, that half woke Brett up. He blinked a few times, looking at Eddy for a moment in the dark. It was clear he wasn't really awake, because he slowly let Eddy pull his pillow away from him and lay down on it, looking like he didn't understand what was happening.

A moment later, though, he replaced the pillow by lying down and pulling himself close to Eddy to bury his face in his chest like he had in the pillow. Eddy felt his longer bangs tickle his collarbones, and he hesitated way too long before gently wrapping his arms around him too.

"I love you, Eddy," Brett sighed, barely audible. The way his words kind of slurred made Eddy even more aware that he still found it in him to say it, even while mostly unconscious.

"I love you too, Brett," he whispered back as his voice failed him. He placed a careful kiss on the top of Brett's messy hair before resting his chin on top of his head. "I'm so sorry I came back so late. I'm sorry I even left."

"It's ok, I'm not important," Brett mumbled softly in his sleep, shifting his position slightly closer to Eddy who had to bite his tongue hard to not cry again. He had fucked up big time.