Closer 2

58.

It felt nice to be able to be the one to hold Eddy, to tell him it would be fine, to be the strong one. He had convinced him to come to bed with him, ending up with Eddy in his lap.

"I love you, Eddy mine. It's gonna be good," Brett mumbled, rocking his boyfriend gently back and forth. "We've done wilder things in life, like quitting orchestra jobs to do YouTube, like busking around the clock to raise money for the tour, to actually do the tour. We're raising our little girl."

"I love you too. And I guess you're right, I just... I worry about your worries," Eddy mumbled, closing his eyes. Brett caressed his cheek gently, kissing his forehead.

"I worry about my worries too, but we'll sort those out," Brett spoke softly, pulling Eddy closer. "We can talk about them, if you want, though."

Eddy shrugged a bit, so Brett decided to just go ahead. Better jo just get it all off his chest.
"What I'm most worried about is not having time for each other," Brett mumbled, placing a kiss on the side of Eddy's head. "That we won't get times like this."

"I worry about that too," Eddy sighed, looking up at Brett. "B... But if we're moving closer to our parents, we'll be closer to Ray's apartment too where May is most of the time if we really need help...?"

"I know, and I think we can make it work. And if not, we'll... I guess pay someone to help us out?" Brett said with a small shrug. "Cause we have to prioritize the channel more too. I hate saying it, but it is what pays us. We have to treat is as a job now and not as a hobby."

"Yeah, I know. We've been way too relaxed on that, but obviously the number of views aren't as high when we don't put as much into it," Eddy said shakily with a small nod. "And I miss it too. But I think just not expecting to take care of the kids and working at the same time would... I mean... I guess?"

Brett nodded with a small smile, placing a kiss on Eddy's forehead.
"I love you, Eddy, and I have to admit yearing you say 'the kids' makes my stomach tickle," he mumbled softly, cheeks warming up slightly. "I guess my feelings about this are a bit complicated."

"I wish we could have kids without it having to be complicated," Eddy mumbled, placing a kiss to the side of Brett's neck. "I wish we didn't need to have this problem with biology, I wish our child could be biologically ours and not just one of us. Because I was in your position and it sucked every second until I saw the kid and fell in love with her, you know?"

"It did?" Brett asked, reaching over to caress his cheek. Eddy leaned happily into his hand.

"Yeah, I was worried it would keep feeling like she was your kid and that I was just helping you," Eddy said softly, nuzzling his face into the crook of Brett's neck. "That I would feel... well, I guess jealous forever."

"But you fell for her? When she was born?" Brett asked, closing his eyes. He was happy Eddy had calmed down.

"Yeah. God, I was scared before the paternity test. Cause I would definitely take her no matter what, and you were so hesitant," Eddy mumbled, taking Brett's hand and holding it between his. "And I was scared you'd leave if she turned out not to be yours and I still wanted to take her."

"Of course I wouldn't leave. Who am I without you, anyway?" Brett said with a small chuckle. "Death would have to take me by force for me to leave you before you leave me."

"That sounds like a vow," Eddy pointed out with a small smile, shifting slightly so they could lie down together.

"I know it does. It could as well have been," Brett chuckled softly lying down with Eddy's head on his chest. He combed his fingers through Eddy's hair.

"I hope you're not proposing to me, cause I'd like that to not happen after a breakdown," Eddy joked, closing his eyes. "And we wanted to do it when Elise was older, right? So she could remember us getting married?"

"It's not unheard of to be engaged for a while before getting married, though, is it?" Brett mumbled, followed by a yawn. "Nah, I'll need to find a good time to do it anyway. Probably won't happen until the twins start school."

Eddy couldn't help but smile upon hearing Brett say "the twins." It made him feel all giddy and like it was more real, and that it was a good thing.
"I'll wait. It's just a formal piece of paper anyway," Eddy hummed, yawning too. "Let's go sleep."

"Yeah, Elise will wake up early tomorrow since she fell asleep early tonight," Brett hummed softly. "Sleep tight, lovely."

"Night, babe. Let's do a talk like this some other time too," Eddy mumbled, and a moment later Brett switched the lights off.

"Let's," he mumbled with a small nod, closing his eyes. "Love you."