Closer 2

41.

"Thanks for the tea," Brett said quietly, warming his hands on the cup. He felt nervous and was definitely freaking out under his calm exterior. He really didn't want to worry Eddy, didn't want to ruin the happiness for Eddy.

"Of course, love," Eddy said, sipping his cup. The pair were quiet for a bit after that, Eddy trying to read Brett's silence. It didn't seem like he was getting anything out of it.

"I guess you're waiting for me to talk," Brett mumbled eventually with a sigh, licking his lips. Eddy gave a small nod, which only made Brett more nervous.

"I mean, if you don't want to talk...? It's just that you've felt off ever since... since Leonora was here... I thought it was nerves, but I'm not so sure anymore," Eddy said, watching Brett's reaction.

"I'm sorry I'm feeling off," Brett exhaled, sipping his tea to avoiding saying anything more. Eddy shook his head.

"You don't have to apologize for that, Bretty. I just want to make sure you're alright, that there's nothing I'm doing wrong or something I'm not doing..."

"You're doing everything perfect, Eddy. I'm just being silly," Brett tried to assure him with a small smile before looking away again. "I'm sorry, it's just... I worry about the new baby and all that comes with that commitment."

"Wanna be a bit more specific? Or is it just generally worrying about it?" Eddy asked softly, getting that content facial expression he always got when thinking about the new baby. It made Brett feel guilty.

"I don't know if I should," Brett mumbled, shaking his head. "I swear, I'm just being stupid and you're so happy and it's just gonna make you worry for no reason..."

"Please tell me anyway?" Eddy requested, reaching over to touch Brett's arm. "I want you to be happy, Brett, and it sounds like you're not."

"I... I am... I... I think I am?" Brett stuttered, shrugging slightly. He didn't want to look at Eddy, knowing he'd just become emotional and feel stupid. "I should be, right? W... We... are hopefully having a baby..."

"If you're not happy about it, Bretty mine, I hope you'll tell me..?" Eddy asked, furrowing his brows. "Do you not want that? B... Because that's..."

"I don't know, I want you to be happy and you seemed to really want it, so I figured it would be fine and that it would grow on me, but now all the worries are sneaking up on me and I don't know how to feel," Brett blurted out, his hands shaking so much that Eddy had to put his cup down to take Brett's away from him. Then he pulled Brett into a hug.

"Tell me about your worries, Bretty," Eddy whispered, feeling guilty too now. He had let his excitement project onto Brett, making him assume this was something Brett wanted too. The fact that Brett was now crying and shaking in his arms about them having another child didn't make him feel better.

"I... I worry about... about not having time for each other, I worry about Elise not taking to being an older sister, I worry about... about the channel..." Brett sniffled, hugging Eddy tightly. "A... And that... That I won't... That I won't be able to love... I mean... Because they won't be... I mean..."

Brett struggled to find words to formulate his last worry, because saying 'because they won't be mine' would be the same as saying Elise wasn't really Eddy's. Of course she was, he was her daddy. Brett was just worried he wouldn't be able to be 'baba' in the same way for a child he wasn't related to biologically.

"You're worried you won't be able to connect with a new baby because they won't be 'yours'?" Eddy asked softly, making Brett tense up. Eddy's tone felt weird, and it was honestly scaring him. Had he fucked up?

"I... I didn't mean it like that..." Brett squeaked, lower lip quivering. "I'm sorry, please don't think..."

"Nono, Bretty, baby, of course not," Eddy said, pulling back from the hug to look at Brett with that worried line that showed up with his furrowed eyebrows. "I know you don't mean that Elise isn't mine. Of course she is."

Brett inhaled shakily, leaning slightly into Eddy's hand as he reached out to wipe his tears.
"Of course she is," he repeated shakily, lower lip trembling. "She is."

"But Bretty, I know how this is. I know  how it is to feel sidelined, yeah? You know I felt like this throughout the whole pregnancy with Elise," Eddy sighed, stroking Brett's cheek. "I'm just sad you didn't feel like you could talk to me about it. Please, let's talk about it now, okay? I can't promise you'll feel better, but at least I'll know."

"Okay," Brett nodded slightly, licking his lips. He still felt like he ruined it for Eddy. Of course he was, he always had ever since they were kids.