Closer 2

98.

The nightmare that decended upon them after that was probably the heaviest thing either of them ever had to deal with. Being forced to sit in a waiting room with a sleepy toddler while not knowing what was going on with your unborn children other than the fact that the amount of blood hd been dizzying.

After the first two hours, May came and picked up Elise so she could sleep in a proper bed. A nurse had been there and told them that both babies were okay for now, but the 'for now' only made them more scared.

It took another hour after that before the words "placental abruption" were mentioned around them, but still nothing more. Brett couldn't help himself and googled what that even meant, but when the word "stillbirth" showed up on his screen he put his phone away and just went back to holding Eddy's hand.

Brett felt awful. He felt like it was his fault, like the world was punishing him for doubting his love for the boys. Because of course he loved them. Just the idea of possibly losing them felt like he couldn't breathe, like someone was slowly pulling his soul out through his nose and shredding his heart slowly into flesh confetti.

Realizing how much he actually loved them should probably have been a relief, but right then it only made Brett feel guilty. Why did they have go through this for him to realize?

"I don't know what I'll do if they're not okay," Brett mumbled out loud, making his exhausted boyfriend turn to look at him with teary eyes.

"They have to be okay," Eddy squeaked, sniffling loudly and wiping his tears with the hand that wasn't clinging to Brett's. "I'm sorry, I'm probably overreacting, but..."

"You're not. You're really not overreacting, Eddy," Brett interrupted him, pulling him into a tight hug. "They have to be okay, you're right. They're our boys."

"They are, they are our boys," Eddy comfirmed quietly, burying his nose into Brett's neck for comfort.

It was quiet for a bit after that, a few minutes of just holding each other and supporting each other. The fact that they didn't know, that nobody was telling them what was going on didn't make anything better.

"I'm scared, Eddy," Brett admitted after a while, squeezing his eyes shut. "I've been an ass about the boys the whole pregnancy, and now when we might... When they can... I just feel so bad about everything. We don't even know if we'll get to hold them."

"I'm scared too, but I promise you don't have to feel bad Bretty mine. I promise you don't," Eddy mumbled, squeezing him tighter. He felt Brett shake slightly in his arms.

"It feels like it's my fault, even though this could've happened anyway," Brett sniffled, shaking his head. "It feels like I didn't love them enough, or right..."

Brett was forced to shut up when Eddy's lips pressed against his and his hands carefully holding his face, wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks. He was still stunned when Eddy pulled back and bumped their foreheads gently together.

"We can get through anything, okay?" Eddy whispered, eyes locked to Brett's. "That's what we said before Elise was born, and we'll say that with our boys too, yeah?"

"Yeah, we can. We can get through anything," Brett said in a hoarse voice, nodding slightly. "Anything."

"Anything."