015: choi san is a survivor

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tw: mentions of drug use and self harm

tw: mentions of drug use and self harm

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《 i did a lot of bad things
how could i not have failed? 》

As long as Choi San could remember, he'd always done things without thinking them through enough, or without caring enough about the consequences of his actions.

Impulsivity was his middle name, and no matter what people thought, or what they said about him behind his back, he did what he wanted -- even when he knew he was most likely going to get caught.

It wasn't always this bad, however. When he'd been a kid, he did all the dumb things that other children also did, like sneaking out of the house, throwing tantrums, defying all forms of authority and the like. It was fun, especially when he discovered from a young age that he could get away with more things than other kids, simply because his family had more wealth than they did.

It had always been him, his father and his older brother from the start. He'd known nothing of his mother, since supposedly he had just been a baby when she died, and all he knew about her came from the sparse information he'd been given from his dad.

And for a few years, he was content with what he'd been given, not really finding the need to discover more about a woman who'd never been present in his life. But, once he became a teen and his rebellious streak started to become something akin to an old friend, the curiosity about who she really was took ahold of him.

The drive to know more about his mother wasn't an entirely selfless act though; he was suddenly overcame with the need to figure out who he was and where he came from, so when his father decided to get more shrewd about sharing information about her to his son -- even his brother sided with him -- San eventually took matters into his own hands.

He soon wished he'd never done that in the first place.

Turned out his 'mother' wasn't actually his mother. No, she'd died a long time ago a few years after his older brother was born. His actual mother was one he had no idea of, a meagre shadow who'd dumped him in a shelter without even an ounce of a goodbye.

He'd been adopted.

Of course, the news shouldn't have shocked San as much as it actually did. He'd known from the start how little he resembled his dad and brother, but he'd just chalked it up to him looking more like his dead mother than anything else. He was even luckier than most orphans, as not every baby had the opportunity to get adopted by an up-and-coming successful businessman, so obviously, San should've been thankful. Grateful, even.

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