𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 ➣ Dabi

pain

It hurts. Why does it hurt so much? It's so painful. So, so painful. Like someone is crushing you. Suffocating you. Killing you. You feel stuck in the bottom of a dark void and no matter how much you stretch and try to reach the light, it pulls away from you. The cold hands of fear and pain claw at you, as if they want to spill the secrets and screams lodged in your throat. You gasp for air, shaking, trembling with pain as tears spill down your cheeks. You jerk upright, one hand clutching your chest as the other wraps around your nauseous stomach. The room spins, the darkness closing in on you. The only light comes from the moon through the window but it's not enough to make you feel safe. You bring your legs up to your chest, rocking back and forth. A nightmare. That's all. It's not real.

But it felt so real. You prod your side, where they stabbed you in the nightmare. No scar, just a numb tingling. Yet, it felt so real. That's when you woke up. After they had looked you in the eyes and said, "You're worthless. No one will ever want you. No one."

You shudder, squeezing your eyes shut to try and forgot the horrid pain, to try and get out of this place.

The tray of food is still sitting next to you on the floor, no longer warm but most likely still edible. But after that nightmare, you no longer have an appetite. You push it away and crawl over to the bed, leaning your back against it.

That's when the door opens and Dabi walks in. He looks annoyed, more than usual, but he doesn't say anything. He just stares at you.

"You cold?" he asks, pointing at your trembling body.

You don't respond. You just stare.

He sighs. "You'll have to talk back eventually."

You look away, down at your feet. He steps in and shuts the door, sitting down next to you. You tense, slightly scooting away from him.

He was the one that killed you. It was by his hand, his doing, his blade. Every move he makes, even if he just slightly moves his head, you flinch, scooting farther away from him. He's made no move to really hurt you but he makes no emotion to show that he could possibly like you. Yet he'll come sit in here silently, sometimes with his eyes closed like he's deep in thought or trying to meditate. Like now. His eyes are closed, his head back on the bed. He takes periodic deep breaths, and you become so mesmerized by it that your breath syncs up with his. Every time he takes a deep breath, you do too. You aren't trying to. You don't even realize you are.

The room's completely silent besides the inhale and exhale of your breathing. It's relaxing almost. Silent. Peaceful. Quiet.

Dabi opens his eyes and looks at you as you look away. He pulls a blade out of his pocket and your heart rate picks up at you scramble away from him, murmuring, "Please don't hurt me." He just looks at you then sliced his palm opens and puts the blade away. He extends his hand towards you.

"Heal me," he says.

You hesitate.

"Do it."

Hesitation. It's all too familiar with you. Hesitating, wondering, pausing. It happens all the time.

He frowns at the blood seeping out his cut. It drips onto the floor, making a loud drip drip drip drip drip. Rolling his turquoise eyes, he lights his other hand up in blue flames, casting shadows across the room, scaring you with the heat it emits.

"Do it or this won't end well."

You slap a hand over your mouth to hide your squeal as you stare at his palm and activate your quirk. He cocks his head. Watching. Starting. Thinking.

"Cool," is all he says, dragging his finger along the faint scar. It's nothing crazy, not even that noticeable but that will always be there. "Do it again."

This time he makes a bigger cut, a deeper cut. He slightly winces but other than that, it's nothing to him. He scoots closer to you, putting his hand in your face. You hesitate but soon heal the cut again. He scoffs. "Crazy. How do you do that?"

You shrug.

"Come on. You've got to know."

You just avert your gaze from him and turn away. Go away. Just, please, leave now. It's exhausting keeping the tears in. You just want to lay down and let the pain out for a moment. You need a moment to breathe, to let the pain out. Sometimes it still feels like a dream, like maybe you really are just dreaming and Dabi isn't sitting next to you and you aren't trapped in an old bar with villains, locked away in your room like a fucking princess. But this is no fairytale. There is no prince coming to save you. There is no happily ever after or some cute little ending with you marrying your knight in shining armor. No. This is where you deteriorate day by day, trying to find a way to escape, a way to leave this new found torture.

Maybe that's their plan. To slowly kill you from the inside. They'll keep you locked away and secluded in this empty room with food that could possibly be poisoned. They'll make you go insane to the point where the only solution is to end it. Maybe that's why. Maybe.

You shake your head, choking on a sob lodged in your throat. Dabi looks at you, at your head between your knees to ease the nausea, at your trembling body.

"If we wanted to kill you, we would've done it already." You whip your head up to look at him. He narrows his eyes at you and leans forward, reaching for you. You jerk back. Don't. Don't do it. Please.

But he doesn't stop. He just leans forward and touches the scar along your neck and collarbone, the one everyone stares at. He traces it, his hand a little too warm for your liking but you're too afraid to pull away. He could snap your neck in half with one of his hands. So, you just sit still and stare at him as he softly prods at it, frowning. You flinch when his hand wraps around your throat, his thumb rubbing against the scar.

He pulls away suddenly and stands up, walking over to the door. "Eat," he commands as he walks out without a second glance. You hand slowly lifts up to touch your neck, which somehow feels warmer than before. His touch still lingers. Staining you. It's like he's still in the room, his hand around your neck, your scar tingling from his touch.

It's unnerving. Because, be honest, there was something about the way he touched you that made your heart race, if only for a moment.

And then you remember that dream. He was so sinister. So dark and terrifying. And he showed no sign of remorse as he stabbed you. You shake your head. No. No, you hate him. You hate everyone in this place. They took you. They took you away so why should you begin to like them?

Sighing, you lie down on the floor, laying on your arm as you push the tears back. One day. One day you'll get out. You have to.  

word count: 1.2K