𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 ➣ Dabi

frozen

"Ah!" you squeal as you run right into Bakugou's chest. He hits you so hard, you fall over, scraping your hand that went to catch you as you fell backwards.

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay miss?" someone says.

You squint up at a green haired boy who reaches down to help you but you flinch and pull away. He frowns, backing up for a second before trying again. It's Deku. Izuku Midoryia.

"It's okay," he says. "Are you hurt? Did you break your wrist?"

You shake your head.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

You shrug, feeling your cheek and wiping a stray tear away.

He smiles. "I'm Izuku Midoriya. You can call me Deku though. That will be my hero name!"

"Shut up, Deku. You're scaring her. Oi," Bakugou says to you, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Why the hell are you crying?"

"That's not going to make her feel better," a new kid says. Shoto Todoroki. You remember him. Dabi was especially intrigued with his work during the sports festival. You wondered why.

Speaking of Dabi, he's trying to talk to you. "Mouse, get up. Say you're fine and then ask for an autograph. You don't have all day."

You shake your head. They may be kids. They may be younger than you but you can't speak. The cold hands of anxiety grip your throat, clawing at it, forcing you to swallow your tongue and stay quiet. It's like you can feel your fear demon choking you, whispering in your ear. Nobody wants to hear your voice. No one wants to hear you talk. No one wants to hear you speak.

As a kid, you used to talk all the time. You told stories. You laughed. You smiled. You were constantly talking about the things that brought you joy.

And when your parents died, you stopped. You shut down. You thought nothing was wrong in the world but when they were murdered, you realized that most smiles on the street are fake. You learned that people didn't want to hear you talk. Because behind closed doors, kids would talk about you. Talk about your annoying voice. Talk about how you would never shut up.

You were shipped off to the orphanage and parents would bring you back because you would never talk. It was too stressful. People wanted you to open up and share your life. But why? Why would they care? No one cares. Everyone has ulterior motives and everyone is out for blood. It's survival of the fittest. And you're barely surviving.

And your dear friend anxiety reminds you that every single day. You have no place in this world. You can't speak to people.

When you were on your own, you were fine. You didn't have to talk to people. You found a perfect apartment that was secluded and job where you didn't have to talk. You were doing online school to avoid face to face interaction.

"Miss?" Deku asks. "You look scared. Are you okay?"

"I think we should take her to hospital. Or the police station," Shoto says.

"No!" you scream. "No, I'm fine. Please don't do that," you say, your body beginning to shake. Dabi's going to be pissed.

"Hey, guys! There's this neat restaurant a few blocks—woah. What's going on?" a new kid asks. You know him too. Eijiro Kirishima. "Are you okay?" he asks you.

No. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

No. "Yes."

"You look scared? Are you scared?"

I'm terrified. "No. I'm not scared."

"What's wrong?" He getting so close. Stop getting so close. Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up.

"Take a deep breath, Mouse. You can still fix this. Say you're nervous because you're a big fan. Bullshit it. Heroes are your favorite," Dabi says over the earpiece.

You take a deep breath, plaster on a fake smile and say, "I'm okay. Just—Just nervous. I'm a. . . I'm a huge fan."

Kirishima breaks out into a smile. "Oh, wow! A fan? It's always nice to meet a fan!"

You nod and when he reaches to help you up, you accept, even if you hate it. But when you're standing, you quickly pull away from him and drop your gaze.

"What's your name?" Deku asks, picking up your journal and pen.

"Don't say it, Mouse."

You pause. You weren't going to. You don't want them to know you. They can't know you. Because if they know you, they could hurt you. And the last you want is to be hurt. You don't trust anyone. You especially don't trust them. They're strangers. They don't want to save lives. They want money. They want fame. That's all. Nothing more. They don't want to help you. So shut up. Leave you alone.

"It's okay. What's your name? If you tell us, we can give you an autograph," Kirishima says happily. "Is that what the notebook is for?"

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"Hey, it's okay. We aren't scary," Deku says.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"Don't freak out," Kirishima says. "We're friendly! We are training to become heroes after all!"

"Mouse, say something," Dabi says sternly.

"You're okay. We just want to help." Deku reaches for you but you jump back out of fear.

"If you don't want to tell us your name, that's okay. We can sign it off to a wonderful fan!" Kirishima says.

Bakugou shoves them back. "You guys are making it worse! She's terrified! Dumbasses!"

You flinch at his voice, a whimper escaping your lips.

"You're scaring her with your voice, Bakugou," Todoroki says. He frowns. "Are you in trouble?" he asks. "Is someone hurting you?"

"No," you whisper.

"I think we should get Aizawa," Kirishima says.

"No!" you yell again. "No. Please. I'm fine. I just. . . I just. . .," you stutter, tears starting to fall. Oh, god. Why are you so scared? They're trying to help you. That's all.

"Look, miss. . . whatever your name is, we don't have all damn day. So hurry up and move along," Bakugou says.

Kirishima smacks him on the back of the head. "Come on, bro! That was so not manly."

"She's wasting our time!"

That does it. You break down, your hand flying up to muffle your sobs as you mumble, "I'm sorry," over and over. You're sorry. You're sorry you're so emotional. You're sorry you can't get the anxiety demon to leave you alone. You're sorry you can't handle anything. You're sorry. God, you're sorry okay.

"Hey, it's okay. Miss, it's okay. Please don't cry," Kirishima says.

"Mouse. Come back here. Now."

You squeal, shaking your head as you take off the other direction, heading back to the base. You messed up. You really messed up. But you tried to tell Dabi that you weren't cut out for this! He should've known you couldn't handle yourself in a busy street without him, alone, talking to strangers.

You heave with breaths, running as fast as you can, right back to your hell hole with tears streaming down your face. And when you run into the base to see Dabi pacing back and forth, you know he's pissed.

But truth is, you're pissed too. And if he yells at you. You'll yell right back. 

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