Supernova (bxb)

Chapter 5 - Call of Temptation

Yes I had Jasper Sutton's number...it was my job as a beta to have all the important numbers even of fuckers like him in my phone, in case Asher needed me to do something. I mean, I wasn't his secretary or shit, but I was his representative, so of course I needed these type of things on demand. Shithead 3000 appeared now on my phone, just as I was walking home. I wasn't drunk from when I had just hung out with Asher, but after one whiskey I still shouldn't drive my motorcycle. 

I stared at my phone in shock. I didn't know why I was shocked, this was expected, honestly. Jasper thought I was going to reject him, which I probably was, but of course any mate wouldn't want that and needed to talk to their other half and save their mating. And a part of me wanted that. I mean, I fucking hated Jasper, he was an asshole and our enemy and just...thinking about him made my blood boil, but at the same time I-...I just really wanted to hear his voice and it made me even more frustrated that I was feeling that way. 

I shouldn't want to hear his voice, I shouldn't even like the idea of smelling his scent again, but I did, because he was my mate and I really hated that fact. Why couldn't I have anybody but him?? Why couldn't I have a nice girl from my pack, who would take me and love me and make no trouble, since nobody would be against our mating. And fine, even some Twink from the pack would have been better, but why this macho asshole, who was trying to destroy my pack??

It sucked...everything fucking sucked so badly and now of course he was calling me again and of course some part of me wanted to pick up and just hear his voice, even though I would probably get incredibly pissed at the same time and maybe start yelling at him, even if it would hurt me as well. So when I stared down at the phone, I had to make a decision. Should I pick up and give in just for one teeny tiny second or...should I stay strong willed, like I had promised myself I would? 

I declined the call, putting my phone back in the pocket of my jacket. No...No it would be no use giving into temptation. Sooner or later, I would have to do it. I'd have to reject my mate so I shouldn't get in the least bit attached and though that seemed absurd even know, that I would get attached to Jasper fucking Sutton, I knew that it would happen, since he was my mate. Honestly this whole mating was one big fucking joke and I could practically hear the moon goddess cracking up over my misery that she had put me in! 

But why?? Why him and why me?? We didn't fit! We were two completely different people, it would never work anyway! Jasper acted like he was a sophisticated, intelligent Oxford fucker, while I was...well simpler. I wasn't dumb, though many people called me that, but I wasn't! I was just...simpler and didn't give a shit about what people said, except for when they called me stupid. I lived my life according to my own standards and I liked my freedom. Jasper seemed to like rules, so we just...we didn't fit!! He probably also thought that I was just some dumb beta with no brain and no sense for intellectual things or shit...I didn't need that in my life anyway, so...it may have been better that I'd have to reject him anyway. Though that thought still hurt. 

When my phone rung again and I saw Shithead 3000 appear once again, I turned off my phone and just ignored it. I couldn't deal with this right now, I just had to let this sink in and then find the strength to make a decision...and that decision was pretty obvious, since I would probably kill myself, if I would have to betray Asher. No, I could never live with myself, if I would do that so...no mate it was I guess. Though I had wanted nothing more in my whole life than to find my mate and now...I would be one of those desperate old man without a family, who dies alone....yay. So I turned off my phone. It was for the better. Who needed to reach me could do so through the link and I couldn't get tempted again. 

When I walked up the stairs, I could see Cecilia spying out of her room to probably check up on me, since she had left me in a pretty rough state with Asher. But I couldn't lie and tell her that I was fine, well I could, but I didn't want to. She snitched me out and yeah, in her position I would have done the same, but still. I didn't want her to ask me, if I was alright and what had happened, because I just wanted to be alone...just like I would die, which was alone. Oh god! Shit...I'd be one of those guys, who would call the service hotline of my instant food to ask them how their day was going, just so I would be less alone, dear goddess kill me now!!