Supernova (bxb)

Chapter 10 - Confessions of Regret

I would be lying if I said, this was what I had expected it to be. I wasn't like...a kiss virgin or shit, I had made out with girls at parties or whatever, never gone further though, but I knew what a kiss felt like. And sure I thought kissing my mate would be special, but this...and with Jasper? When I had leaned in and pressed my lips against his, it was an impulse, it was a need buried deep within me, but I didn't think the outcome would be so...so...so this!  

Because I was losing my god damn mind. The second my lips touched his, it was like there was an explosion of the most exciting, comforting and warming feeling I had ever felt going on in my whole entire body. It was a little bit similar to when our skins had touched before, that same tingling feeling, those electric shocks that neither one of us could deny nor ignore that we felt them, but at the same time, it was something completely different. It was how I imagined the best drugs ever to feel like. It was the highest of highs and I needed more, I needed it forever in me, around me and with me and I needed the source of that feeling more than I could even comprehend in that moment. 

I leaned forward and Jasper leaned back on the seats a little, following my lead, as I started to move my lips against his and when he started to return the kiss, his movements were gentle, but rough at the same time. They were passionate, like he wanted to savour this kiss, but also control it and deepen it, if that was even possible and it was, because I felt him wanting to invade my mouth with his tongue, but no way would I give in that easily, so I pushed even more forward, trying to get into his warmth now, but Jasper wouldn't let me. I bit down on his lip, getting impatient, because I just wanted to completely fall into this damn kiss, before I would get to my senses again. 

But no matter how much I tugged on his lip, Jasper wouldn't budge and when I released a low and impatient growl, my mate suddenly gathered a lot of strength, as he pushed me back, so I fell against the wall of the car and just when I was getting confused and thought I had done something wrong, he leaped forward, pressing me against the door and catching me off guard, as he pressed his lips against my own again and let his tongue slip past my lips. Bastard. But it felt so fucking good...oh lord did it feel even better now, the kiss I mean. The world was in a haze and I moved my lips against his eagerly, letting my tongue fight for dominance with his, because just because he was an alpha now, didn't mean I wouldn't let him win here. I mean, it also had nothing to do with the fact that he was born a beta, just like me, it didn't matter, I just wouldn't let an asshole like him dominate me like that. Fuck this!

So I pushed him back again and tried caging his hands above his head, as I kissed him hungrily and I managed for a few seconds to maintain that position, before he simply flipped us around, until he was laying on top of me, kissing me and making my mind go numb. I just grabbed him by the neck, making him stay close, as I was dominating his tongue with my own, knowing that my mate was feeling just as light-headed and hopefully amazing as I did. Thankfully, Jasper kept a little bit of distance between our bodies, because that I would definitely regret in the morning, if I couldn't control myself and it was just better that way. But kissing him...it was a whole new level of pleasure. 

When we parted to catch our breaths, we looked at each other, me gazing up at Jasper, who was panting and staring down at me. I didn't want to think about what had just happened, I knew I would worry about this later either way, so I wanted to enjoy this moment of nothingness, of just the after tingle of the kiss. I could basically still feel his lips against my own and I craved exactly that again, but I decided that for now I shouldn't be too greedy because...I had just had my first kiss with my mate and it was strange in the best way possible. Oh boy would I freak out about that later, especially once I was completely sober again. 

"Wow..." Jasper breathed, looking down at me and his hand went to brush some of my hair, that I had coloured black, out of my face, making my shitty personality return in a matter of seconds. I slapped his hand away, frowning "Wow?? That's it?? You have this hot piece of meat kissing you and that's all you have to say about it? Looks like I pushed you a little too hard just now when I was dominating you!" I chuckled and I felt a little stupid for having said that now, but at the same time, nothing was real, the world didn't exist around us anymore, just this car did where the most amazing kiss ever had just happened.