Supernova (bxb)

Chapter 23 - Don't touch me

The sounds of the plane being pushed through the sky were the only things that were invading my ears. I looked to the side where Jasper sat in his seat and when our eyes met, we showed the other a short and awkward smile, before we looked the other way again, both not knowing what to say. Ever since we got the news yesterday that we could...that you know uhm pregnancy was apparently a thing that could happen for us, we were pretty much avoiding the other. We had been busy up until we boarded Jasper's private plane, because we had planned on how to rescue Riley. But now we were on an 11 hour flight and Asher wasn't talking, he was lost in thoughts...so it was just us. 

Yeah the whole pregnancy thing was really really freaking me the fuck out. Now that I was actually mated and Jasper and I could at least try to imagine a future with us and how that would look, I was getting nervous just thinking about one of us, probably Jasper...carrying a pup ourselves. I did always imagine myself with a family that included kids of my own, but now that the future and you know maybe even family planning was getting closer, I wasn't so sure anymore. I mean, if Jasper wanted to do that himself, I wouldn't stop him and be there for him, but...if it was up to me I-I don't think I would want this. 

Ah fuck how would I even start a conversation like that?? Should I?? I mean most mates would have completed the mating by now and then it was baby time, but I-...ah fuck I would have normally had a talk with Jasper about this and told him that I wasn't ready for that yet or maybe ever and everything, but since I didn't know where he stood on all of this, I just didn't dare to talk about it. And Jasper also looked a little nervous. But maybe he didn't know how to tell me that now he really wanted to complete the mating so we could ...make babies or whatever and ah fuck this was awful. 

We had been on this plane for so long and we just didn't manage to talk to each other, especially since we kind of should be thinking and talking about how to rescue Riley and make Asher feel better, who was nervously biting his nails and was lost in thoughts. Ah shit, why was this so difficult? But maybe...maybe Jasper was really trying to plot how to tell me that I should put a baby in him or something oh my god no nope I would not know how to have that conversation and then maybe break his dreams or oh shit nope I quickly had to say something and bring the attention to a completely different topic!! 

"So! Uh the plan, let's go over the plan again!" I exclaimed and Jasper looked at me, his eyes wide as he nodded, with a smile on his lips. "Yes good idea! Ok uhm, so first Asher will go in and meet with Maximus alone like he wanted to and then we will attack thanks to Aban teleporting us inside the walls of the pack. You will be attacking with Cecilia and Lynn from the inside and I will lead the group that will be fighting the attacking wolves outside on the plaza. Wow that went by quicker than I thought...uhm any questions?" Jasper asked, seeming as nervous as me and fuck I mean I didn't actually have any questions, but I needed to keep this conversation going and when I looked at Asher, as he gazed out the window, I did wonder about one thing. 

"Are you sure letting him go in all alone is such a good idea? Sure we are close by and can attack at any given moment, but...I don't like the idea of Asher being alone with the Fontanas" I said to Jasper, glancing over at my alpha. Asher wasn't looking at us at all, I wondered if he even knew that we were there and it was something that only made me worry more. He wasn't himself, so I was worried that sending him in alone would be even more dangerous than it already was, even though my alpha was an amazing fighter and I should probably just trust him more, but it was my nature as a beta to worry about him. 

He was probably also losing it since his mate might be pregnant and also maybe dying, because of exactly that. Oh boy, that must be weird and if I was him I would probably be losing it as well. Ah fuck I was losing it even without my mate already being pregnant so...I understood him. And maybe all of this was clouding his judgement and he could not lead this mission properly even thought technically Jasper was leading it on Asher's request.