Supernova (bxb)

Chapter 7 - Sweet Temptation

I don't fucking know how long we stood there, but I didn't care. It wasn't like I wanted to let go anytime soon anyway. Feeling Jasper, my mate, against me, it was a feeling I could have relished in forever. It may have not been him in particular, but just...the tingling sensation of feeling him close to me was something I did not want to let go off. His scent was all around me and strong and I never wanted to leave again. It was as if this was suddenly my home, right here where I held Jasper and he held me, even though we didn't even really know each other yet. I didn't even know, if I would reject him or not, but...that didn't matter. All that mattered was how strongly I needed to hold him and have him hold me. 

After a while, I could feel Jasper loosening his grip around me, as he said "Pax, maybe we should go and talk now-" When he gently tried to pull away, I tightened my arms around him, pulling him against me, as I buried my head against his chest, where his scent was the strongest and I could hear the soothing sound of his heart beating. It was a little faster than it normally should, but so was mine. I guess that was the effect the mating had on us. "Don't go. Just...Just a little longer" I mumbled against him, hating that I appeared vulnerable right now, but I was too exhausted to fight it in that moment. 

And at my words, Jasper gently wrapped his arms around me again, holding me as well. "Ok..." he said with a soothing tone in his voice and I just readjusted my face on his chest, so I could get a little bit more air into my lungs and brain, because it felt like I was being suffocated, but in a good way kind of? Like I was getting suffocated by love or shit and I was kind of ok with that. If it was already so hard letting him go now, how the fuck should I even reject him? Thinking about that now, was like I was ramming a knife into my own heart repeatedly and I realized that at least for now, rejecting him was not an option...I was too weak for that. 

But after a few more minutes of just standing there and Jasper gently brushing over my back with his hand to sooth me, which worked unfortunately. I knew I had to let him go sooner or later. So I tried getting used to that thought of detaching myself from the source of that sweet sweet feeling and scent, but even in my imagination that scenario was worth forgetting about. So I just decided to do it quick, like ripping off a bandage and so I took a few more deep breath, inhaling his soothing scent, before I quickly pulled away and even took a step back, so I wouldn't get tempted again. And Jasper let me, though he looked like he wanted to have me back in his arms that second. 

I cleared my throat, trying to press down the desires and wishes of rushing forward again and sink into that addicting feeling, before I said "Ok uh...yeah let's talk I guess." I guess? Was I stupid?? "Yes kid, you are" Rush answered for me and I shoved him away, cause nobody had time for a grumpy old wolf like him. I knew Rush wanted to meet his mate as well, but Jasper and I both knew we couldn't let that happen, before we hadn't figured our shit out or else they would do something that we would both regret afterwards. It wasn't something we had to say, it was just a fact. 

"Let's go to the living room" Jasper nodded, extending his hand to ask for my own, but I quickly buried mine in the pockets of my jacket, clearing my throat awkwardly again. It wasn't like I would have hated taking his hand...I should have hated it, but I knew I wouldn't and I may have ended up pulling him to the ground with me, so I could cuddle him or shit and nah, I did not need that right now. Jasper looked a little sad when I rejected his gesture, but he just let his hand fall again, before showing me a weak smile. Shit, it hurt to see him hurt...

"Come on" I said, nudging his shoulder with my own, just to show, that it wasn't like I was suddenly afraid of touching him again, I just very well knew the possible consequences and I couldn't have that now, before we would talk I guess. Jasper smiled at that, before he nodded and took the lead to show me where we were going to have that dreadful conversation about if I was going to break both of our hearts for the sake of my pack or not.