“Ashton?”
“Yeah?” I mumbled, my voice coming out muffled since my forehead was resting on the table.
“It’s going to be okay.” Jess assured me for what felt like the thousandth time, “I know it’s hard and… confusing an….”
“I’m not confused!” I cried sitting up, “Ashley wants to be a boy I get that! I just…I’m not going to have any d-daughters anymore.”
Wincing, Jess looked down at the table.
“It’s okay that she wants to be a boy.” I sniffed, “I just...My little girls, they’re both going to be gone. No more dolls and dresses, no more pig tails and princess tea parties…I don’t know what I’m doing? What am I even supposed to do.”
“You’re asking the wrong person. Jess said gently, “You need to be asking Ashley.”
After that jess dropped me off at home, I broke the news to Destiny, who took the not going to have any daughters anymore thing kind of hard, I had a lengthy chat with Ashley, and then, the next day, we did it, we hacked off the light, out of control curls.
“Are you excited?” I questioned, watching as Ashley eyed herself in the mirror at Lou’s house excitedly.
“Yeah!” she gushed.
“You’re sure?” I asked, “After you cut it off it’s going to take a while to grow back.”
“Yes I’m sure!” Ashley laughed, “I’m going to cut my hair off and then I’ll be a boy right?”
“If that’s what you want, then yes.” I replied, smiling down at her.
“And you’ll call me Ash?” she questioned.
“I’ll call you Ash.” I chuckled, “I’ll call you whatever you want.”
Grinning, Ashley turned to look at Lou, “Are you ready yet?”
Holding up her scissors and smiling, Lou nodded.
“I don’t get it, why is she cutting all her hair off?” Lux asked.
“Because I’m a boy.” Ashley said in a duh voice, “Boy’s have short hair.”
Shrugging, Lux fell silent.
Chewing my lower lip I watched as Lou raised the scissors to Ashley’s head and slowly snipped off Ashley’s ponytail. Taking a shaky breath I watched as the hair fell to the floor.
“Woah.” Ashley laughed.
Smiling, I watched as Lou continued to hack away at the hair until Ashley looked like, well, simply put, a boy.
“How’s that?” Lou questioned when she was done.
“I love it!” Ashley shrieked, “What do you think Dad?”
“You look good Ash.” I said, forcing a smile, “You look good.”
“Am I boy now?”
Chewing my lower lip I looked from Ash to Lou, to Lux and back to Ash again.
“Yeah.” I chuckled, running my fingertips through his hair, “You’re a boy.”
-Later-
“Where are we going?”
Glancing in the rearview mirror I looked back at Ashley, or Ash, or Bean, as I had decided to refer to him.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“We’re going to go do guy stuff.” I laughed.
“Like what?” he demanded eagerly.
“We’re going to Uncle Michael’s.” I answered, as we pulled into Michael’s driveway.
