The funeral, like most funerals was sad. Jess' brothers came, as did her Mother, a drug addicted looking mess of a woman with stringy red hair who insisted she be addressed as Cady instead of Mrs. Heron.
The burial was just as bad, taking place in the rain and the days that followed were equally bad, it wasn't until a few days later than any of us resorted to our normal selves.
Calum's Pov-
Exhausted, I ran my fingertips through my hair before sitting down on the edge of Cooper's bed.
Grinning, he let the book he was flipping through fall to his lap before opening his arms wide. Laughing to myself, I pulled him close to me, inhaling the scent of the little kid shampoo which I'd used to wash his hair.
"Love you Cawum." He said, clinging to me tightly.
My heart twisting, I leaned down and kissed the top of his head gently before pulling away. Holding up my right hand I held up my pinkie finger then my first finger and thumb then finally my pinkie and thumb before spelling out his name.
Smiling contentedly, he crawled beneath the covers and tucking him in I pulled them up to his chin.
"Goodnight." I mouthed since there was no use for any sound.
"Goodnight Cawum." He answered.
Patting his leg I kissed his forehead lightly before rising to my feet and shuffling out of the room closing the door behind me.
Making my way downstairs I picked up the wrappers from the McDonalds the two of us had for dinner and threw them out in the kitchen before trudging into the music room.
"I shouldn't have procrastinated." I sighed.
From the outside I looked like a lunatic, talking to myself, but it was something I'd found myself doing a lot, just in case Grace was listening.
"I don't know what to write about." I admitted, picking up a guitar and flipping open a notebook, "This song is either going to be a fake poppy piece of shit you'd hate, or the most depressing thing you've ever heard."
Running my fingers through my hair, I tapped my pencil on my knee. Looking around the room I winced at the pictures of Grace and I which covered the walls.
"Nothing left but picture frames." I whispered, strumming lazily on the guitar. Frowning I played the small little melody my fingers had played of their own accord and wracked my brain for lyrics to go with it.
"You walked out and left me stranded, nothing left but picture frames... And I just keep asking myself...."
Sighing, I tried to remember the shade of chocolaty brown that were her eyes and drew a blank.
"How'd you drift so far away from where we left of yesterday." I mumbled, scribbling the words down.
"I'm lonely," I said aloud, "Like a castaway. Heartbreak that I can't escape, a sinking ship I'll never save, I'm lonely like a castaway.... Jesus that's shit."
Ripping the page from the notebook I crumpled it up and tossed it over my shoulder.
"Mistake. Fucking mistake." I grumbled, "I'm a mistake."
Sighing, my eyes landed on my wrist and the faint blue lines which held my life inside them.
"The blood in my veins is made of mistakes." I sang quietly, before scribbling it down.
"That's just fucking morbid." I snapped at myself, ripping out the page, balling it up and throwing it at the TV.
"Fuck it I won't right." I sighed, "Just another night of football on the TV....TV... we, see, me... Tv, no one sees me... I fade away, lost inside the...a... memory of Grace's life... someone's life, it isn't mine."
