Two Months Later:
After visiting Jess, and Michael, who was living in the chair beside her bed, in the hospital, I stopped and dropped off pizza at Calum and Graces since they were losing it with three kids, they had taken Preston and Griffin in and then I headed home.
As usual, entering the house, the place was destroyed, the girls were climbing the banisters and Andy was screaming unattended in his crib.
Sighing, I kicked off my shoes and jogging up the stairs to his room, picked him up. Cooing softly in that annoying way babies love I held him against my chest and bounced him softly.
"Hey." I whispered, "Don't cry, you're okay, Daddy's got ya...you want some dinner?"
Trying to pay attention to the rambling story Ashley was telling me, I carried him down stairs and scooping some formula into a bottle, warmed it in the microwave before screwing the top on and placing it in his mouth.
I didn't expect him to drink it and unsurprisingly he didn't. He didn't like formula, scratch that, he hated it. A boy after my own heart he wanted the good stuff, straight from the source, 'jug juice' as the boys called it. But as of late the supply had more or less gone dry.
Trying to get Andy to stop crying I set down his bottle then crossed over to the fridge to try and find myself something.
"Are you making dinner?" Ashley asked, coming up to me and hanging on my leg.
"I'm trying to." I sighed, prying her off before bending over and peering in the meat drawer trying to find turkey for a sandwich.
"What are you making?"
"A sandwich... I need to do groceries tomorrow."
"I hate sandwiches."
"I'm sorry princess but the rest of us mortals enjoy them."
"What's a mortal."
"You're a mortal."
"No I'm not."
"Whatever floats your boat Ashes."
"Can we go on uncle Harry's yuck again?"
"It's a yacht, not a yuck and we'll see."
"I want mac and cheese."
"We're out."
"Pizza."
"Ashley we had that four times this week."
"Sushi."
"Didn't you eat dinner already?"
Sighing dramatically she shook her head. Frowning, I glanced over at the clock on the stove.
8:45
"Ashley it's like bedtime, why haven't you eaten?"
"Mommy is still sick." She replied dejectedly, before walking past me and removing the Nutella from the pantry.
Crossing over to the silver wear drawer she removed a spoon then sitting down in the middle of the kitchen, dug in.
I wanted to object but Nutella was better than the Hershey bar she'd eaten for lunch yesterday, so I let it go.
Leaving her by I closed the refrigerator and trudging past her trekked back up the stairs to the set of large double doors at the end of the hall. Taking a deep breath, I repositioned Andy before pushing them open.
The room was dark, the only light coming from the TV playing reruns of Full House in the corner. It also smelled, mainly because the figure balled up on the bed beneath several comforters hadn't bathed in at least a week.
Sighing, I crossed over to the side of the bed and kneeling down, tentatively reached out a hand, gently running my fingertips along Destiny's exposed hand.
Rolling over she turned to face me and forced a pain smile which didn't reach her eyes.
"Hey." I whispered.
"It's hey." She mumbled dryly, "Violet."
I laughed for her benefit, even though it wasn't very funny.
"How are you feeling?" I asked.
"Fine." She lied forcing another fake smile.
"Did you eat?"
"Not hungry."
"Did you get up today?"
"If they were born on time they would have been a month old today." She said in way of reply.
"I would have texted you a picture of them. You would have told me not to let them do anything cool without you being there to see it. I would have been happy."
"Hey..." I coed, reaching out and brushing stray strands of hair off of her forehead and tucking them behind her ear, "Don't do this to yourself Des."
Sniffing she shrugged, "How was Jess?"
"The same."
"Not better?"
"Not worse."
Chewing her lower lip she nodded.
Seeing parts in her neck which wouldn't be visible ordinarily I frowned.
"You look skinny."
She shrugged.
"Too skinny."
Again she shrugged.
"Des." I sighed, "Come on baby..."
"I'm fine." She snapped, "Just leave me alone."
"You're a mess." I replied, "And I want to help you."
Wincing she looked around the room, her eyes watering as she tried not to cry.
"What is it?" I whispered, "What's wrong?"
"I'm just sad." She choked out, "And I don't want to be."
My heart shattering as a tear rolled down her cheek, I frowned.
"I'll tell you what." I sighed, "I'll go drop the kids off at my Moms and then I'll come back and hug you so tight, so so tight. And then we'll talk and figure out how ti fix this. I'll make you, whatever you want to eat, I don't care of its Lucky Charms or a cupcake or Chicken Ali Kiev and then we'll watch Netflix until we fall asleep, how does that sound?"
Smiling, Destiny reached out and smoothed down Andy's hair, "That sounds nice."
Leaning down I kissed her lightly on the cheek, then the nose, then finally lightly on the lips before rising to my feet and quietly leaving the room. I hated how bad she'd gotten after the twins, but more than anything I hated the doctors who dismissed it quickly, assuring us it was normal, and that post natal depression was common amongst mothers that miscarried. It was horrible watching her lie there more broken then I'd ever seen her, and terrifying.
Jogging down the stairs, I hurriedly gathered up the kids, eager to get back to her.
I'm sorry this is short and I'm sorry it's been forever. I'm going to update a shit ton tomorrow.
I've been super busy I went to ST. Louis...I texted the nice boy from the concert but he's kind of a twat so I stopped and I've been updating the 500 other stories I have on here, so I'm really sorry it's been so long.
Thank you for reading.
Also I drew Hey Violet and Miranda liked it on Instagram and so did Rena and Nia's Mom.
I love them, so if I see you hating on them I'll rip your still beating heart out of your chest and feed it to my dog. Jk, you can do what you want but I like them.
I have brownies in the oven because I'm being a fat ass before I get back on my diet tomorrow, so I'm going to go tend to those....
THanks again for reading, bye <3
