With you - Sanders sides human! AU - Book 1

Chapter 36 (Roman's POV)

"Virgil, Roman! Where were you guys? I've been looking for you," Patton exclaimed when we got to my dorm.

Virgil sat down in the sofa and rested his feet on the table, while I went over to the kitchen to get some water. Neither Virgil or I said a thing.

"Come on kiddos. I can sense the tension in here. Can someone explain me what's going on?" Patton insisted.

I sighed, "Ok Padre, I'll tell you,"

---

"Virgil did what!?" Patton yelled when I finished.

"He broke into Janus's apartement, scolded him for cheating and then punched him in the face," I repeated

"To clarify, I didn't break in. He opened the door, therefore letting us in," Virgil added.

"That's no excuse! Virgil, you can't go attacking people who you don't like!" 

Virgil put on his hood, "He deserved to suffer for what he did,"

"Virgil, you are no person to decide if someone deserves to suffer or not. I'm sure that Janus already feels bad for what he did to Logan, he's probably hurting for the pain of regret and-"

"And you really think that's enought!" Virgil jumped from the couch, regaining the anger that I had seen him experience at Janus's place, "I know how Logan is feeling, I've gone through the same thing, with the same person, Patton. Janus hurt me so deep that I promised myself not to fall in love again, to hide in my room and never come out, and I wished that I ceased to exist because after the breakup came the bullying," Tears started to form in Virgil's eyes, "I was bullied more in those three months that I had ever been in all my live. You have no idea of what kind of pain Janus has caused not only to me, but also to Logan. So yeah, maybe he is sufering, but I think I'm in all my right to decide if it should be worse."

Neither Patton or I spoke. It was still shocked for seeing Virgil like this. He had always seemed like a chill layed back kind of person, but I would've never imagined all these things going on inside his head...

"Virge... I didn't-" Patton started, but he stopped mid sentence. 

Virgil opened his eyes, as if he had just realiced what he had said, what he had done. He whiped his tears, and then stared at the black smudge he had in his hand, result from the eyeshadow. 

"I- I'm going to my room. Don't- talk with me... I don't want to talk to any of you, specially you Patton," He stated, before turning up to the door, his figure stiff, but I noticed his fits were shaking. His steps where firm and long, his pase not too fast. He went outside and closed the door with a slam.

Silence. 

I looked at Patton. He seemed crushed. 

"Hey, Patton," I said, getting closer to him, "Pat, it's not your fault that Virgil-"

"Yes it is Roman. I- It's me. He's like that because I haven't- no, I just... What have I done wrong?" Patton fell in the sofa, his eyes starting to get watery.

"You haven't done anything wrong Patton. Trust me. Virgil has been in this mood all afternoon, you shouldn't blame yourself for anything..."

"But I made him feel bad! I just try to help, but I can't find the way to cope with him! Or with any of this! All my advice has backfired. Everything that I do to help ends badly," Patton sobbed, but there were no tears falling from his eyes.

"No, Patton, no. It's not your fault. There are things that you can't control, that you didn't know, and that's why it haven't worked correctly. Your intention has been good all the time, right?" I asked, trying to confort my friend.

"Yes, but doing what I think is best isn't always the best," Patton answered, "I think I'm going home too Ro. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's ok..."

"No, it's not," Patton stood up and walked away.

I closed my eyes. I felt exausted. All the things that had been happening lately felt like a bit too much. But it was stupid for me to feel this way. It was noting compared to what Logan or Virgil where feeling. I shouldn't be like this. I should be a prince, helping them to defeat the dark. But I wasn't strong enough, I couldn't help them.

Virgil... This afternoon had been too weird. The way that Virgil had exploded, releasing those emotions so strongly, it made me wonder... How long had he been hiding that resentemet? And, what else was he hiding?

Because I had discovered something new. Virgil didn't only have a crush on Logan. Virgil loved Logan. Virgil had been about to confess. The only reason he didn't was because he was too afraid to hurt him in any possible way. And even if I thought that my boyfriend was over those feelings, even if I thought that our relationship was going well, now I had lots of doubts.

The way I cought Virgil staring at Logan, the way Virgil always payed more attention to the nerd, how his aproval always seemed the most important... Before I thought it was only something between friends, platonic love that remained from the past, but now... I didn't know what to think.

It was better if I took a break. I should rest. But first, I needed to make sure if Logan needed anything. Because overall, he was my friend, and I wouldn't stop caring for him in my weird and unique way.

Angst! Yes! Sorry for the ones that don't enjoy it, but I'm here for the angst. That's my moto. I insist, things will get better, but I can't stop the feeling that I need to apologice every 5 seconds for the things that are happening here. Still, I'm happy that whoever you are, you are still here and reading. Also, sorry if Virgil's reactions are a bit too extreme, maybe I got a bit carried away writing them.

Take it easy, guys gals and non binary pals!