Stone's Diary: Ava

Chapter 11.) Resentment

Renae was the broken one now. Nothing was the same. Her tears were no longer the same. Her smile... was forced. The light in her eyes was gradually fading away. Her thoughts were loud. Everything bothered her. Her spirit was disturbed. There was nothing...

No peace. No joy. No happiness. Nothing.

Comparison is the thief of joy. That was a true statement, but it was all she could do; compare herself.

She wondered just how much better did she look than her. She as in Joie. Her name was forbidden in Renae's presence and thoughts. She began to question what was it about her that she needed to change? Did she need to be more like her? Did King want Renae to act like her?

She sat.

She wondered what did she have over her that made King gravitate and detach himself from someone he considered his soulmate... his lifeline. They were supposed to be inseparable but he gave himself... half of himself to someone else. The most sacred part, he offered it to someone who wasn't her.

She sat some more.

He had the best part of her. The parts that she wanted to keep buried... to herself, for her own protection. She gave it to him. She gave herself to him. She was inside of him... but now, so was someone else.

Her heart didn't beat the same anymore. She loved him but was it enough?

"Mrs. Stone?" The oncologist's voice pulled Renae from her daze. She hadn't realized that she checked out, but that was common for her. She'd be there physically, but mentally, she'd be elsewhere.

Renae blinked a few times then stared at him.

"I was asking if you would like to continue your treatments at home? Your progress has been exceptional lately... would you prefer that?" he asked.

Slowly, her eyes tore from his and her brows creased in wonderment.

Was I really that bad?

I should probably ask Ava what she looks like

"Renae?" Trouble nudged her.

"Home... yeah," she cleared her throat.

The Oncologist stared at Trouble worriedly before sitting next to Renae. Unconsciously, she scooted away and played with her ring.

"Which treatment would you like... intravenous, pills, or injectables?"

"What's tha' injectables?" Trouble asked, seeing that she was drifting again.

"The injectable treatment is given through the skin with a needle. It could be given into a muscle or in her arm as if it were a flu shot. She could request to have it injected in her arm, hip, or stomach... it all depends on her, but I suggest the arm or stomach," he explained as he stared at Renae. He wasn't used to her being quiet.

"Will she have to have a home health nurse come or can we do it?" Trouble queried.

"We can have a home health nurse come to the house to give the treatment and she'll also teach one of you... who prefers to be her caregiver on how to do it."

"A'ight," Trouble nodded.

The Oncologist stared at Renae for a moment then at her chart, "Which one would you prefer?"

Trouble nudged her and she mumbled something to herself before replying, "The needle is fine."

"Who will be the caregiver for the remainder of her treatments... you?" he stared at Trouble.