Stone's Diary: Ava

Chapter 59.) Wreckless Love

The next day was a bit tense for everyone. Laughter seemed awkward, smiling seemed forced, and there were a lot of curious and questioning eyes, wondering what was going on between Renae and King. Kaari and Tamir ended up falling asleep on the sand and were awoken by none other than Rue, who was giving Tamir the coldest glare. Kaari didn't even realize that they had fallen asleep outside and didn't even remember when she laid down. They were up talking about their future careers and what they hoped life would be like for them until about 3 in the morning.

One moment they were laughing about the fight at the college the next, they were out like a light as the soothing sounds of the waves put them in a peaceful slumber.

It was 10 in the morning, while everyone was eating breakfast and discussing plans for the day, King was sitting on the sand smoking a blunt trying to calm his loud thoughts. No matter what, he still couldn't shake the feeling that Renae had stopped fighting. Of course, last night proved it but even before then, he felt that way. He felt as if her claiming to be upset and yelling was a sign of her wanting to fix things but to King, it was just a game.

He had no time for games. No time for the tug of war. He meant what he said when he stated that Renae wasn't fighting as hard as he previously had been and he also meant it when he told her that he would walk away. It would hurt, God knows it would but he put up with so much from her for over two decades. He was maxed the hell out and in all honesty, had no intentions of living the next forty or fifty years of his life suffering and wretched just because he loved her.

Sometimes love wasn't enough.

No matter how many times he tried to tell himself that he was wrong, the more time he had to think about it, he felt as if he was protecting his peace. Because once the mind was gone, the body would soon follow. Renae was constantly disturbing his mental and emotional peace. She was constantly making him feel like shit. He had so much on his plate and was only one person.

He hated to dwell in the past, but damn, how many times was he supposed to take her verbal abuse? How many times was he supposed to take her emotional abuse? He took it all and as a result, the verbal abuse turned into physical, and yet, he came back. He didn't come back to peace, he came back to more problems he had to fix. He came back to unanswered questions.

There was so much that he endured and took like a champ because he was a man, but he was tired. In a way, he wanted to hurt her the same way that she had done him throughout the years, but he could never do it.

Maybe he needed to. Maybe it was time for a change.

There was Renae.

Lounging in the living room, staring at the tv but barely paying attention to what was going on. King was so caught up in rage, he couldn't see past his disappointment and need to make Renae feel how she made him feel, to see that she was trying. It may not have seemed like it, but she was. Slow progress is better than no progress and in Renae's defense, she assumed that she was getting better as time went on.

It was just the fact that she was starting to feel as if everyone was wanting to find a reason to talk down upon her. She could care less though but once King began to make things seem as if she wasn't doing enough, her mind went blank. What more was she supposed to do other than what she had already been doing? She's been trying to be more involved with her kids. She's been trying to get Reign to open up to her. Hell, she even let King slide for stepping out on her even though she didn't believe he would have done the same if the role were reversed.

Her past was never an excuse for her current situation but it's what made her the way that she is. She understood that, unlike her brother, she was the one with all the issues for obvious reasons, more than one. She understood that sometimes she could overreact or speak without thinking but everyone knew how she was way before.