Just as I Begin to Fade

Sixty One. The Truth

Gwen slowly entered her mother's room, seeing that she was awfully delicate to what had happened to her, but she had to assume it was also her pregnancy hormones eating at her. She shut the door behind her and she walked over to meet her at the bed.

Stevie immediately grabbed a hold of her hands, urging her to come near.

"Mom, before you get the wrong idea... I told Lindsey not to tell you because you had just found out you were pregnant. I didn't want to worry you or cause you any problems as far as your health went. Plus, I was worried enough because you had also OD'd... You were in pain, you were struggling, and I didn't want to make that worse."

She nodded, shutting her eyes tightly because for the first time in her life, she was able to understand her daughter's intentions and she knew she wasn't doing it to hurt her on purpose. "I just wish you would have told me," she pulled her in very close.

"I... I didn't think you would understand," she admitted, keeping her arms wrapped around the blonde tightly, trying hard not to smash her stomach since they were in and awkward position.

That was the moment it hit her---she had absolutely nothing in common with her child, but what she did, seemed to be the most brutal. "You can't just assume," she pulled back, prying the girl off of her as she stiffened.

The teen was taken aback by her sudden shove.

"I just don't get why you don't tell me anything, least of all, something like this," the blonde continued in a slightly confrontational matter.

"So much was going on already, I didn't want to bother you with it," she explained, standing up in order to back away. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just..." she trailed off. "Maybe I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want you to be mad or--"

"Why would I be mad?" she cut her off.

"Well, you're slowly but surely yelling at me now..." she sighed. "I was afraid of this. I was afraid you'd get mad since I was at a frat party... I don't know."

"I'm mad at you for assuming the worst about me," she got out of bed only to pace about the bedroom. "I'm mad that you don't trust me and that you felt the need to hide something like this from me."

The girl creased her brow and wiped one of her tears. "How does what happened to me have anything to do about you?"

She turn back just to cock her brow at her.

"Maybe, you're right. I don't trust you... I don't trust anybody unfortunately and that's because I've been hurt by you, by my father, by Derek... You've all betrayed me in one sense or another and I just can't risk my heart anymore. You think I trust Bobby enough to tell him everything about myself? Because, I don't. I don't even trust myself sometimes. The only person I have learned to trust is Lindsey, but that's because I can't seem to lie to him either..." she sighed. "It's not my fault that I can't trust you."

Once again, the blonde was having a glimpse into her argument with Lindsey; why her daughter must have needed therapy, she didn't tell her anything.

"And you are right... I didn't think you'd understand the feeling of being raped by four asshats," she stopped and then turned around to walk out of the room.

Immediately, the blonde followed her.

Utimately they were both brought to the living room again.

Gwen was hugging Lindsey, sobbing into his chest because the night at the college was returning to haunt her as she was being yelled at by her mother.

Stevie nearly rolled her eyes at the sight of the girl crying to him only because she wished it was her arms she was in. It frustrated her that he could be warmer than she was.