Just as I Begin to Fade

Twenty Four. Leaving it Alone

Gwen pulled up to her father's house on her motorcycle and she parked off to the side of his driveway, kind of glancing back at his white sports car. Then looking up at his giant house, she sighed a little bit because she could tell it was empty; all the lights were off. She then took her helmet off and she got off of her bike in order to unlatch the duffel bag from the back. Once she had all of her things, she started making her way to the front door, where she would unlock it and enter.

She breathed a slight sigh of relief only because it felt like she was walking into a place that wasn't hers, but it was comfortable.

Since moving in with her mother, she spent less and less time with her father to the point that his house didn't feel like her house anymore, even though he had made it clear that she was always welcome. It just didn't feel that way since he was a rather busy man.

She traveled through the darkened house that still seemed pretty bright only because everything was white and huge; the white marble floors, the cathedral ceiling, his light furniture.

She had always wondered, since her mother had all the money to get a better house, a house sort of like her father's, she wondered why she didn't. She had a castle looking house before, one that she could recall living in, but instead, she had been going for the very suburban, two bedrooms on small streets in town.

After roaming through the house, checking it, she went up the stairs and did the same until she got to her room. She then opened her duffel bag and she started to lay her clothes onto the armchair she had in her room, though she didn't put everything away yet.

Once she got into her pajamas and got all of her makeup off, she finally landed into her bed and she felt such refuge when she did.

Although she was alone for the night, or however long her father was going to he gone, she was content. She had never been one to be frightened when sleeping alone or being in a giant house alone; it only gave her a sense of peace in a way because she didn't have to worry about her mother bursting into her room for one thing or another, she didn't have to hear the sound of ice clinking, bottles being popped or her loud friends. Quiet seemed like normalcy.

As she laid in bed, she couldn't sleep only because she kept thinking about her mother and Lindsey; she had an idea that they had some sort of sexual relation, but she knew she couldn't just assume that.

However, she felt that she needed to call Lindsey anyway, just to hear what had happened; why she threw him out and what lies she was spewing about her. The other side of her brain was dealing with guilt for having left her mother alone; she didn't want her to start drinking so often again and she most definitely did not want her to pick up a line of coke, but she could not be in the same room with her; all she wanted to do was cry.

Just then, she sat up in bed and she switched the lamp on, reaching out for the phone on her night stand and she dialed his number since she knew it by heart.

"Hello?"

"Lindsey, it's me..." she mumbled, twisting the phone cord between her fingers.

"Gwen... What's going on, are you okay?"

"I wanted to know the same about you," she paused. "My mom lied to you and I don't know what she said about me, but I know it's not true."

"I know, I believe you."

"You do?" she said more or less shocked.

"I do," he then paused. "Listen, I don't think we should talk on the phone. Your mom made some points that could get me in trouble even if they aren't true..."