Just as I Begin to Fade

Three. Judgement

It was late at night; after her quick pick-up and drop-off with Derek, Gwen found herself approaching her front door.

After having had a fight with her mother, she just walked out and said nothing about where she was going even after the blonde asked. She met her boyfriend like she said and she did her job, but she hadn't gotten paid in full.

Emerging through the front, red wooden door---the teen arched her brow as she clutched her keys into a fist.

Stevie was at the dining room table with a few of her girlfriends and one guy, her head sort of drooping as she sat there. With an arm extended across the small table, she twisted a full shot glass between her fingers and she kept staring at it as the people around her were laughing and talking.

"Here, babe," the man offered her a white substance from the palm of his hand.

Gritting her teeth, Gwen watched as her mother accepted the bump. Shaking her head, she let her presence become known when she slammed the door shut.

"Oh, hi, honey!" a redhead approached her with open arms.

"Hi, Aunt Lori," she said softly, embracing the woman loosely. "Aunt Sharon... Minnie, Mary..." she kind of cocked her head.

"Hi, sweetheart," Sharon gave a sympathy filled smile.

The rest of the women smiled and greeted her as well, but they turned their attention back to the prior conversations.

Stevie didn't react with anything but her eyes and body language. She picked herself up---her eyes as glazed over as usual.

"Mother," she greeted her with slight irritation in her voice.

"Go to bed," she coldly stated and turned her head, nearly rolling her eyes since she could hearand see the judgement.

The girl scoffed and pulled her jacket off, revealing her ripped up and cropped ACDC tee. "Why don't you?"

"Gwen, I am not--"

"Not in the mood, right? Yeah, that happens every time your friends come over. Especially this guy," she called out the drug dealing male---a man she had met before on the streets. "Be discreet, asshole," she crossed her arms.

He looked at her and just gave a cheeky and ill-mannered smirk, almost making fun of her.

"Gwen," her mother's voice became slightly raised as she pressed her hand into the table, trying to muster up strength get up.

"Stop trying to parent me and acting like you're in control of me just because we're in front of your friends. We both know what happens when we're alone, so if you wanna blow a hole through your skull, be my guest. If you wanna get so shit-faced, you can't see, be my guest. But don't act all high and mighty, like you're the best mother in the world and deserve an award... because this..." she gestured to the table filled with alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, "this ain't the way to make that happen. When you're like this, you are not my mother," she stormed off to her room and slammed the door behind her.

The blonde remained seated, staring into space as she blinked heavily and rested her hands on the table.

Her sister in-law, Lori came over to the table and she placed her hands over the woman's.

"Don't let it get you down," he handed her the gram of substance she had been snorting.

She managed to lift her hand in order to take it since all he did was dangle it in her face.

"All of us at this table have problems we deal with," Mary mentioned. "Don't beat yourself up, Stevie."

Sharon remained quiet, not wanting to interrupt even if she knew they were wrong to tell her she was just coping.