Just as I Begin to Fade

Fifty Four. Familiar

~ Months Later ~

"Hi, I'm Gwen..." she introduced herself in her Al-Anon meeting. "Things are actually pretty okay at home, my mom's not drinking or anything which is fantastic... Although, once she found out she was pregnant, she stopped everything immediately---she's really excited, so I am happy for her. Lindsey, my mentor slash father-figure has been taking the brunt of everything as he likes. I've not had to do much which is awesome, otherwise if it were just my mom and I, I'd be doing it all. I do tend to wonder what it would have been like for us to be together and she be sober... It just never felt like she could tolerate being with me unless she was doing drugs or drinking..." she paused. "Even though things have been better, they've not really been better for me, even if I am happy for her, but..." she semi shook her head. "I was... attacked," she paused. "I'm gonna call it what is, I was raped a few months ago and only a couple of people know, but my mom doesn't. I decided not to tell her only because it happened the evening that she found out she was pregnant. I just didn't want to send her into panic or lack thereof," she sighed. "I think that's why I've been continuing to come, I technically live with an alcoholic and that's what this meeting is for. I guess I just needed to share that, because I'm not sure if I am supposed to share that with her. So much time later on, should I? Do I have to?" she sighed once more. "That's all, thanks." She sunk further into her chair as they applaused her share.

When the meeting was over, Gwen helped herself to a tea and she hung back a while since she was just tired and she needed a moment after sharing the scariest moment of her life.

"Excellent share, Gwen," a woman approached her. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay... and thanks, your share was great too," she sipped off her foam cup.

"Would you like to handle the meeting next week? I was just asked, but I can't and I will be out of town anyway. You're always here on time. Do you mind?"

"Uh, sure," she shrugged. "Let's exchange numbers, I don't want to forget---I have evening classes at school and then regular school."

"I know, I've been listening to you for the last weeks. I think you've been doing fantastic for all that you do."

"Do I know you?" she wondered, then shaking herself. "I'm sorry, you seem awfully familiar, but I haven't caught your name."

"My name is Barbara," she shrugged.

"It's nice to meet you, Barbara... That's my grandmother's name, actually---but I've never met her."

"Yeah, I have a granddaughter that I don't really know either," she explained. "She just seems to travel all over the world with her mother."

By that statement, the girl cocked a brow.

"It's nice to meet you, Gwen, I'm your grandmother..." she extended her hand.

The girl was above and beyond stunned. "Wait, you're Chris and..." she lowered her voice, "Stevie's mom?" she had to make sure as she took her hand.

"Mhmm..." she semi smiled, the girl's innocent face bringing back too many memories of her own child.

"Wait a minute, how did you find us?"

"Your mom kind of forgets that your grandfather used to work for her---he still has his connections and all he had to do this last time was call Karen and your uncle."

"This is kind of insane," she giggled a little. "I've dreamed of meeting you and, and Jess..." she walked in further, just to give her a hug.

Barbara was over the moon and so welcoming because she too was living a dream. She embraced the child warmly and she swiped her hair, taking in her scent, her beautiful features.