Just as I Begin to Fade

Twenty One. Anxiety

Monday morning would come along; Gwen was over at Derek's, spending the night just to get away from her mother as she had been yelling at her the whole weekend.

Waking up at around four in the morning, she turned to lay on her back and she stared at the ceiling because everything had seemed to keep her up at night.

Her action caused Derek to move in the bed as well and he draped an arm around her, holding her rightly.

Still, her brain was wrapped between her mother and the fact that shouldn't be trusting her boyfriend. She was just very unsettled about being home or with him, but that was the only place to go as her father had not been returning her calls. If she hated anything more, it was showing up at his place unannounced because he would have words.

"Mom, I'm gonna come home a little bit later tonight. His friends came over; my godparents..." she mentioned over the phone.

"Fine, Gwen, burn your bridges!" her mother hollered at her and then hung up.

The thirteen year old furrowed her brow only because she didn't understand what bridge she was burning by hanging out with her godparents and father. It was a mystery to her and she didn't really understand where her mother's anger was coming at.

"Is it okay for you to stay, honey? Does your mom want you home?" her father asked as he cradled a beer bottle in one hand.

She shrugged. "She said I was burning my bridges... She was really angry," she sort of shied only because she got the impression that her mother had just kicked her out.

"You can stay the night if you want, you have clothes for tomorrow, right?" he wondered.

"Yeah..." she nodded.

"I'll talk to your mom tomorrow," he kissed her forehead.

"Thanks, daddy, but I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Well, there's no reason for her to be mad at you either."

She would then recall the next morning when she did get dropped off; the tears her mother shed and the shouting match her parents got into.

"Man..." she sighed and she got up in order to get ready for school.

---

Lindsey was sitting in his office and he kept thinking back to Friday night and Gwen and Stevie's house.

How the teen shut down as soon as she enetered her mother's presence, how the mother didn't care that her daughter was upset, how the teen just snuck out like nothing, how Stevie disappeared. But most importantly, he couldn't stop thinking about her kiss; the anxiety and fear he felt from her trembling touch, but just how passionate she was at the same time.

He took his glasses off and he rubbed his face firmly because he did not like what happened and he didn't like the fact that he didn't stop her before she could kiss him. But he also really wondered about her motive behind it---did she really just want to get him into bed like her daughter had cautioned.

Gwen soon enetered and she took a seat.

"You're fifteen minutes late," he looked down at his watch.

"I'm sorry... Mom made me late. I know there's no excuse, but if we're gonna be transparent..." she then put her walkman away. "So, how did things go after I left?" she sort of smirked.

"Something I wanted to talk to you about..."

"Oh?"

"Why did you sneak out?"