Just as I Begin to Fade

Thirty Three. Lies

When the next morning arrived, Stevie opened her eyes to the sound of the shower running and she looked to her left, noticing Lindsey was gone.

As though on cue, the water shut off and he came into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around him.

"Morning," he smiled at her as he walked by. "Hope you slept well."

"I did," she sat up. "Thank you..." she sighed, pretty captivated by his upper body; he was kind of ripped and she had yet to notice. "Do you work out?" she wondered.

"Me?" he chuckled. "Sort of... I'm a swimmer, but not really up for weightlifting."

"Ah, that must be it," she kind of smiled as she smoothed her hair down. "I didn't know you were a swimmer... You're kind of buff though, so I'm not complaining."

"Yeah," he sort of smirked. "My dad pushed me and my brothers into it back in the day. We were just doing it because my dad had some membership at a country club and I was never into playing sports. Liked to watch, but didn't like to play. Now, it's pretty cathartic to swim when I'm stressed out."

"That's a good habit," she agreed.

"I made a lot of bad mistakes when I was drinking," he claimed. "It had become my crutch and I just needed to replace the bad with good and I did."

"So, you have brothers?" she switched topics because she didn't want to hear anything further about her problems because she knew he was trying to make an early morning point.

"Yes, two. Both older than me..."

"What do they do?" she wondered. "You haven't really mentioned anything about your family... You know all about mine."

He smiled small. "Jeffrey is two years older than me and Gregory is four years older than me... Greg is an Olympic swimmer, Jeff runs our father's coffee plant. My mom lives with Greg, and Jeff when he's working. Things just became difficult when our dad died."

"When did that happen if you don't mind me asking?"

"Almost ten year ago," he admitted. "Her health was just starting to decline because she was without him. It's easier to have the three of us looking after her."

"You were young when you lost him, I'm sorry," she stood up to show him a little bit of affection. "That must have been hard."

"Yeah... then four years later, my wife died. That's when I started drinking."

She nodded.

"I'm okay, don't worry," he chuckled only because she seemed so sympathetic in that moment of time. "Those could be some of the reasons I want so bad for you and Gwen to heal your relationship. I want to help you guys so bad. I didn't get to go to my dad when my wife passed to ask him how to move forward, when we got into arguments... I needed to learn how to be a husband, but I didn't because he wasn't there. Gwen needs you, Stevie, she needs you to be her mother so that later on, she can go to you when she has questions on how to be a wife or partner to somebody. You may have had a horrible experience being married, but you knew how to be a wife to Andre. She needs to know she can go to you rather than fearing that you'll make a mistake and accidently kill yourself or that you'll leave her."

His words brought tears to her eyes only because it just made her realize the things she needed to do in order to provide for her child.

"Maybe that's why I've also been on you to tell Gwen about her father; she's only sixteen. It's going to hurt her, but young enough, it won't destroy her whole life. She'll be able to move on. I was twenty-five and it hurt me terribly. She has to feel that as a teenager---she doesn't need to learn what it feels like to lose both parents," he hinted once again for her that she needed to get her act together.