Just as I Begin to Fade

Sixty Two. Alone

About a half hour after Gwen had left to meet her grandparents, Stevie started packing her things.

Cautiously entering the bedroom, Lindsey watched her from the doorway.

Glancing up at him, she didn't say anything.

"Where are you going to go?" he wondered, crossing his arms.

"Does it matter? A hotel, maybe..." she shrugged. "Wasn't planning on telling you, you know?"

"Well, I need to know."

"Why?"

"Because you're pregnant with my baby. If things are going to stay like this between us, that means they can only get worse from here on. So, tell me now... Are you going to let me be part of our baby's life or are we going to fight about it?"

She softened immediately because she could tell her was angry and she never meant to give him the idea that she would be taking the baby away.

She only wanted to get away in order to cool down and reconnect with herself.

"So...?"

"We're not going to fight about anything nor over..." she sighed. "Lindsey, I'm really hurt that neither of you trusted me enough to tell me what happened to her. It must have been a nightmare of a night, but it could've been worse."

"As I said, it wasn't my decision not to tell you... That was your daughter. I told her to tell you, but I wasn't going to step on anybody's toes in order to tell you. It was her place, not mine. Besides that, it was for the good of you... Look at you now."

Tears percolated quickly and she hung her head, holding herself up with the edge of the bed.

"What?" he asked softly only because he didn't want to try and comfort her and she push away.

"Nothing," she shook her head and she spun around in order to grab more of her clothes from the closet. "I have to call Karen... After she takes me wherever, I'll make sure to keep in touch. I'll let you know how things are going..." she paused and looked over at him. "Okay?"

"Fine, but aren't you taking Gwen? Doesn't she go everywhere with you?"

"I know she'd much rather stay here with you."

"Stevie, you can't make a decision like that without her. The condition you're in, it would make me feel better if she went with you."

She shook her head. "I just want to be alone with Karen dropping in a couple times a week."

"You're just over six months pregnant, how long are you planning on staying gone?"

"Until I can make peace with myself..." she walked forward, coming near to him. "We've been together for half a year, Lindsey, one of my longest relationships in a while... I really appreciate you taking care of my daughter, being honest with me about things. But in all of these months alone, I've not had the time to look inside myself... I want to start over with myself, so that I can start over with Gwen... I  want to become a better mother so that when our baby does come, I know what I'm doing."

"And what about me?"

"Well, it's up to you if you're gonna want me back... I'm not urging you to stay faithful."

"I'm waiting for you," he assured. "I'm holding out---I want us to stay together, even now. We're not breaking up."

"Fine... And when I get back, we'll decide on what's best for the both of us."

He nodded.

She leaned forward and she kissed his cheek, before pulling away so she could continue with her tasks.