Just as I Begin to Fade

Thirty One. Guilt

Dropping her backpack onto his desk, "Are you and my mom dating?" was the first thing the teen had to ask once she got to the library.

"Um..." he lingered nervously for only a second and he slowly leaned back in his chair, removing his glasses off of his face. "No..."

"Ugh, don't lie to me!" she plopped down in her chair.

"Gwen--"

"Lindsey, I saw you kiss her last night, the way you were sitting on the couch. Just tell me, " she begged. "My mom has lied to me my whole life, I don't even know what type of man my father is because she won't tell me. I see you're a good man and I want to believe that, but I'm not going to be able to if you don't tell me what's going on." She then stood up only because she couldn't stay still, she felt like she was going crazy.

Gathering his thoughts, he knew he couldn't lie about having kissed her because he knew he did; only once when he walked in, but he wasn't going to say that he did, nor deny. In maneuvering around what to say, he cleared his throat. "Well, to tell you the truth... Your mom did ask me to come over more often, for company," he shrugged. "As you wanted, I am helping her. Your mother is very... clingy in other words and I don't think she does that to be romantic, I think she does that of security," he claimed his true thoughts, because she did clutch to him all the time, she wanted him near and she had told him so. "You asked me to help you by helping your mother. After our spat, she apologized and we've been good ever since we ran into each other at the movies."

She crossed her arms and she stared at him with narrow eyes, but then she sighed.

"Does that bother you?" he locked his hands together and he remained calm.

"No..." she sighed. "Yes, but no..." she plopped in her seat again.

"Okay..." he paused, not understanding her so well. "Look, I know you asked me not to start anything romantic with her and I haven't. We're just friends and frankly, I think that's what your mom needs. She needs friends. Sober friends and I am sober for the most part. I rarely drink."

She agreed with that wholeheartedly. "This is something I asked her not to do for my sake, but she went and did it anyway. You don't date while in recovery... Learned that in Al-Anon."

"Ah, so you went."

"Yes, I did. I listen to you because you're smart and you told me to do it. I checked it out and I liked it."

"Good, I'm glad."

"But other than that, do you like my mom?" she asked.

"I do," he nodded. "I think she's nice... Troubled as you are. I've seen a lot of things between the two of you. I'm really analyzing things for the good of you. It helps that I see her more often, since I see you every day."

"How often? I've been gone a week and it already seems you guys are playing house?"

He smirked.

"Lindsey..." she whined.

"Gwen, I care about the two of you and your relationship. I don't want you to worry about me."

She furrowed her brow, only because he was always onto her.

"I remember everything you've ever said to me. You didn't want me to fall into a relationship with her, and she leave me heartbroken."

She kind of slumped in her chair and she recalled her own words as well. "And I don't want anybody to hurt her."

"I know that, kiddo," he got up and he walked around in order to sit on the edge of the table, just to be closer to her. "Nobody's going to hurt anybody. You're going to make yourself crazy if you keep thinking this."