🌻 rusger oneshots | countryhumans 🌻

holy heckin 10k special

OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD
THIS ISNT REAL
THERES NO WAY THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HOW DID THIS BOOK GET 10K READS AND ALMOST 500 VOTES
YOU GUYS
OMG
I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCH
THANK YOU
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY
IM GONNA CRY OF JOY
THANK YOU SO MUCH
THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOR SUPPORTING ME THIS ENTIRE TIME, I COULD NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH, YOU WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PEOPLE
*YEETS ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD AT YOU*

as a thank-you gift, i present to you:
incorrect quotes!!! part 2
————

germany: what's on our agenda today?
russia: you confess your undying love to me.
germany: no, no. i am not emotionally prepared for that today. reschedule it to next week.
russia: you've had me postpone it for months, and you already know that the feelings are mutual
germany: i'm nervous

——

russia: FOUR MONTHS
kazakhstan: what's he talking about?
germany: it's really not a big deal-
russia: YOU WATCHED ME WATER AND CARE FOR A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS

——

russia: *does smth dumb*
germany: what an absolute fucking idiot.
germany:
germany:
germany:
germany: i can't believe i'd die for him

——

russia, over text: they have a whole section in home goods for you
germany: oh really?
russia: *sends that pic of the rack labelled 'bottoms'*
germany: i am fucking divorcing you

——

germany: i want to be called cute 23/7
russia: don't you mean 24/7?
germany: no, i need snack breaks

——

russia: *is sad*
germany, trying his very best to be a good bf: if spiders had a complex social structure like us and viewed humans as gods and each one of us has a religion that groups of spiders group into, you know what that would mean? that would mean that there is a group of spiders who are rooting for you.

——

germany, exasperated: you have the IQ of a toothbrush
russia: maybe thats why im in your mouth all the time

——

germany: *sends pic of doggo to russ over text*
germany: russland look i got us a puppy!!
russia: you literally went out to get milk.
germany: but he's so cute!!
russia: we already have 23 dogs.

——

germany: *makes a self depricating joke*
russia, very softly: noooo

——

germany: you're the morning to my coffee :)
russia: you're the pen to my pencil
germany, slightly confused: you're the sun to my sky?
russia: you're the crippling to my depression
germany: RUSSIA NO

——

russia: *writes 6 6 6 on a wall sith blood*
germany: *pulls out a sharpie and makes it 696969*
russia: *spells out 'nice' with blood*

——

germany: your love, hand it over
russia: over my body
germany: arent u supposed to say 'over my dead body'?
russia, pinning him against the wall: no.